I have no mum/aunties/grandma/sisters/female cousins and have struggled my entire life! Having a very down day today and it hits me like a tonne of bricks - the pain of not having a mum around since I was tiny just feels unbearable, especially now I have little ones of my own.
I thought having a family of my own would 'repair' the damage but it has magnified everything tenfold. My marriage has fallen apart the last couple of years and I literally have nobody to confide in. My friends are all very happy in their marriages and it almost feels shameful and wrong to talk about the problems in mine.
I'd been so thrilled to have a daughter but now at age 6 we are clashing all the time. We were once very close but don't feel bonded anymore, since my youngest came along.
I feel so incredibly lonely without a female support system.
I don't really know why I'm posting but perhaps older, wiser mumsnetters could talk to me about difficult patches when kids are young, where everything feels stressful, always tired, mithered etc. Does it get better?
And any ideas how I can rid myself of this almighty feeling of grief and loss at having no mum/sister/grandma to spend time with, laugh with, chat to etc?
Thanks for reading.