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Original poster

How to get abusive man out of joint tenancy house?

20 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 12/08/2017 14:09

My friends partner is financially, emotionally and verbally abusive. I dont think he is physically abusive, at least she hasnt said he is and I havent seen any evidence of it.

She pays all the rent and bills, he works FT but doesnt pay a single penny towards the house or the kids (they have 2). He goes out, gets drunk and spends the rest of the time sitting on his arse, barking out orders.

She wants to split up but he says that he wont go, she can leave and take their daughter but he will stay in the house with their son. He does no childcare and how he expects to stay in the house when he refuses to pay rent or bills I dont know.....

But the point is, how can she get him to leave? She doesnt want to involve the police and I am not sure that anything he has done would warrant their involvement. I have told her that the best place to start is by ringing womens aid which she is hopefully going to do today. But where does she go from there? The tenancy is social housing in both of their names so she cant force him out and he wont leave. She doesnt want to lose the home that she has paid for in its entirety including all the furnishings to that bastard.

Any suggestions would be great. Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 12/08/2017 18:59

Anyone?

OP posts:
Booboobooboo84 · 12/08/2017 19:00

She needs to get legal advice and they will say how to get him off the tenancy .

Flopjustwantscoffee · 12/08/2017 19:34

Can she talk to the council/housing agency (whoever manages the house). Until you said it was social housing I was going to suggest she finds a new house and leaves (with both the children). The fact that she has a steady income, is named as a tenant so can get reference from current landlord etc etc are all massive advantages (been in that situation). But as it's social housing .I imagine private rents would be much higher/crapper for the same money? In which case she could try talking to the HA to see if it's possible to find a new property through them (I don't know how it works in the U.K. Where I am they would help, but I am somewhere with a better housing policy...) but seriously, my ex was meant to move out and kept saying he would. I waited SIX MONTHS and by the end the house I'd loved before felt like a prison. So I started looking to move out and there were loads of places within budget- I found somewhere within a week (in fact I just received confirmation that they'd accepted my offer to rent yesterday :) )

Flopjustwantscoffee · 12/08/2017 19:35

Really sorry if the above seems smug, I realize not all places are as easy for finding suitable housing. But I was expecting it to be really difficult and it wasn't at all so it's worth having a look.

Flopjustwantscoffee · 12/08/2017 19:37

Also, if she has proof that she paid for the furnishings (bank transfers etc) I would imagine she could take a lot of it with her.

MrsBertBibby · 12/08/2017 19:41

She needs to apply (form 50B) for a transfer of the tenancy to her name, under Schedule 7 of Family Law Act 1996. Google the form, and the Act for the factors the court considers. Write a statement setting out all relevant info ( including what you have put here) and issue at the local court.

Let the judge decide who gets the tenancy.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 12/08/2017 22:27

I can see why she wants to stay. Its a lovely new build in our really nice village (which is very high for private rental) and within strolling distance of the kids school which is very good.

If she moves it would mean moving further away and having to change schools etc.

Thanks for that information Mrs, its really helpful.

I am aware that she needs to seek legal advice but as she contacted me at 1am this morning and its the weekend we are limited as to what we can do and I was hoping for at least an overview.

I think it comes down to the fact that if he leaves then he will have to pay rent and bills and knows that she wont default because she has the kids to consider. The trouble is that she is tiny and he is a big bloke and if he wanted to he could really hurt her and that worries me a lot.

Mrs do you know where I could find information about the court fees specific to that for her? She would probably have to self represent. Thanks again.

OP posts:
Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt · 13/08/2017 00:54

This is not an area I know anything about but does she pay the rent from a sole account or joint? If it's sole then I imagine that would stand her in good stead with the housing association. I would start with the housing association first before looking at Court. I can't believe she'll be the first person with this problem. There might be some useful info on their website. If she does get to keep the house in her sole name he'll probably make it downright unpleasant for her until he finds a new victim to feed and house him but it will be worth it to be shot of him.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 13/08/2017 01:25

Thanks beenthere

My thought too was that he will be an absolute shit when real life finally hits him in the bollocks. I believe that she does pay from her own account rather than joint as he would spend her money as well as his own given half a chance.

I have been in touch with her tonight and suggested that she goes to the HA on Monday to see if they can give her any help. I dont know if she has managed to speak to WA yet, but I hope she has.

OP posts:
SerfTerf · 13/08/2017 01:29

She needs a court order.

missmollyhadadolly · 13/08/2017 07:43

This is shocking. What makes grown men this entitled?

MrsBertBibby · 13/08/2017 08:24

Haven't done one in ages but I think it's £245. Ex50 is the Court Fee list, again, Google for the up to date one.

MrsBertBibby · 13/08/2017 08:25

Ex160 is the fees exemption application, she might qualify for a reduction.

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 13/08/2017 13:12

Thats really helpful Mrs thank you. I did google fee lists but I dont want to get it wrong.

Miss I dont know but I suspect that he went from being a lazy fucker at his mothers to being a lazy fucker at my friends. I think that he was out of work so she was paying everything and then when he got a job (with her covering the payments on HIS van that he "needed"!) he just kept every penny. I wish she had got rid of him a couple of years ago when she first told me what he was like, I think he would have gone then. But she is very low self esteeem and I think that she was thinking that being with him was the best she would ever get :(

OP posts:
Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 21/04/2018 13:38

UPDAE

Hadnt seen or heard from her in a while, I knew she was staying with her parents for Feb half term and it turns out she has stayed there. She realised he would never move out so she has spoken to the HA and they have agreed to remove her from the tenancy as she is leaving an abusive relationship. She is currently reapplying and should be classed as a priority as a result.

He was not at all bothered that she left until he realised that she wasnt paying the rent or bills anymore (he seems to genuinely have assumed she would even though she has left him!) and is now fuming. We suspect he will move back to his mothers rather than actually pay himself.

Thought you might like to know that she is out and doing fine!

OP posts:
ErrmWTAF · 21/04/2018 14:00

In that case, can she get in touch with the Council to hold off getting her another place? If he's going to go voluntarily, she can keep her lovely place and it'll all be simpler. I should think the Council would be happier to not have the kids being uprooted/different school, etc, if it can be avoided.

Tell her Well Done from all of us! Flowers

ChickenMom · 21/04/2018 14:08

Great that she left him

Gemini69 · 21/04/2018 18:04

good news OP Flowers

Original poster
PyongyangKipperbang · 21/04/2018 20:32

That had crossed my mind too, about her going back when he either leaves or is inevitably evicted.

Will message her to see if she has discussed the possibility with the housing officer.

OP posts:
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