Not sure whether to say anything to the man I like

[FuzzyFelt14]

I became very attracted to a lovely man recently. I have known of him for a few years but hadn't spoken to him, but when I did I slowly realised he and I would be great together, as really good friends or partners. Nothing has happened between us as we are both shy and self-conscious but I know he likes me and I like him.

I have a dilemma now as a man who visits my workplace is interested in me. He always looks out for me and says hello but this week he spoke a bit more to me and then acted nervous. I could tell he was working up to asking me out but I had to leave so it didn't happen then. I don't know if I am attracted to this man, I go for personality first and I don't know him.

I always thought that in the unlikely event of another man being interested I would have to find out whether the man I like wants to do anything with the attraction we have. I haven't tried to find out before now as I am nervous around him and I am happy being single anyway but I always have hopes because he is so lovely. Now this unlikely event with another man is here, I don't know what to do.

Has anyone had any experience of this scenario or have any views on what I should do? Go out with the new man if he asks and forget my lovely man? Or if I speak to lovely man what do I say? Any help gratefully received.

Tell lovely man 1 you like him. Dependent on his response go out with him or lovely man 2 if you want to. Keep it simple.

This made me smile. Sorry....
Going out for a drink with #2 won't make you indebted or obliged to do anything....

And - might help strengthen your self esteem. Being wanted and pursued best thing to make a woman feel great about herself!!!!!

Man #1. I don't know. I'd always been if the school of thought that is a man wants you - he'll show it somehow, do something.
And if none of you done anything with it so far then the attraction may be more theoretical....

Good luck!!!!

I'd rally I lovely man 1. You don't have tell him how you feel but you could ask him out for drinks or whatever and see where it goes. Just because man 2 likes you doesn't mean you have to change your life at all. It is clear you would rather know the person first so don't feel obliged in any way.

Go out for a few dates with both man 1 (ask him for a drink) and man 2 and see which you like better before starting a relationship with either or neither of them.

Thanks for your replies:

LesisMiserable - Yes I need to keep it simple. I have been overthinking it.

Josuk - I've had the same thoughts as you, if he really wanted to do something he would have taken it further by now. I hope man 2 does ask me out, it would boost my self esteem.

WingsofNylon - You are right about not feeling obliged, I've been thinking too seriously about it.

ravenmum - It would be great if I could go out with either of them. I am open to having a relationship with someone nice.

Thanks again for your replies. I haven't been proactive before but I will be going forward. I will ask man 1 about meeting up and when I next see man 2 I will try to be alone with him again so he can talk to me.

To Thine Ownself Be True.

Number 1, is your only option.

If you were with number 1, number 2 wouldn't even be in your thoughts. Flip it & you'd think about it, even if morally you wouldn't cheat.

The one you'd theoretically have an affair with, is always the right choice

Thank you TheNaze73 I agree 100%. I will find out if Number 1 feels the same, if not I can move on.

Ask him! Then you'll know. And if he says no at least he won't turn into one of those people you think 'what if' about years from now