well, here i am, a 33 yr old alcoholic that has done everything wrong that can be done wrong. My Kids had everything. my wife, i thought had everything, but it wasn't enough... had the perfect life, house, schools, job, you name it, but i fucked it up.
Yes i'm a man of my age on mumsnet, i'm only here as i have read an awful lot of ppl that have been through my shit and have also been on the receiving end of it. For that, i apologize. that will never be enough but still it's there.
There is no excuse for alcoholism, there is also no cure. i am ashamed to say i am a man that had everything you could possibly aspire to in life, i'm here to say i had it and lost it. I didn't just lose the woman of my life, the woman i pledged to be with for life, the woman i said i do to and the woman that gave me 2 beautiful DD's. i'm hear to say i'm sorry. I also lost an awful lot more, but i'm not here for a pity story, no woman, (nor children) should ever have to go through what i put them through no matter what ppl think. If anyone is in this position i just want to stay stop. Whatever your thinking, whatever reasoning you may think is normal or acceptable for your drinking. Just stop now. You will never know the pain of living through this or worse of thinkin you done the right thing or there is any reasonable doubt that you are in the wrong. get help. i tried and got no help, please dont be me.. Be better, Strive to be better, don't let your kids ask for you and not be able to do anything about it, don't, not be able to contact your ex through fear, just do the right thing, dont be me, get help. trust me. not having the woman you love or the kids you love around you is worse than being alone. Seek Help. reach out. Be a better man than i could.. Dad, to dad (although i'll never be the dad i wished to be) dont fight em or try, you'll never win, dont try. own up. be a man. I've lived almost 2 yrs in shame, 3 hospital visits, counselling, jail and now isolation, work lads. be good to your woman (she may or not ever speak to you like me) , you will never get her back but think about the kids., mine will prob never see me but try your best, no matter how small...