Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need advice

11 replies

user1463939186 · 10/08/2017 21:18

Hi mummies need some advice been with my partner nearly 8 years. January this year thought we were happy until I had a gut feeling to check my partners phone on it it was a message to some girl he has been friends with for a long time but it said I miss you I love you please talk to me kinda thing I questioned him about it he came up with she was my best friend she stopped talking to me coz I threatened to beat up her abusive boyfriend etc so thought ok don't add up not happy but ok unknown to him i had already gone Phyco &tried to contact this girl anyway the next day she messaged me back I asked her what was going on &she said she stopped speaking to my partner coz he kept trying to take things further I asked him he admitted it was a flirt he wouldn't of done nothing but she strongly disagrees this has hurt me deeply we have two kids & married there has been a few things he has lied about silly things since we started dating he stopped helping financially with bills two years ago after he had an op &wasn't paid for the time off but couple months after started getting paid again.also my sister got married this year my partner had been drinking I hadn't our kids were tired so thought take them home leave hubby there we don't get out much.i had a phone call off sis next day he had been touchy feely with my sister & her friend also caused a seen by having an argument.what do I do am I mad for staying with him?

OP posts:
HeavenlyEyes · 10/08/2017 21:37

yes you are. He is a lying cheating cocklodge. Where is your self esteem?

user1463939186 · 10/08/2017 21:42

Completely gone.the thing is he's always been by my side he don't go out without me he's either at work or home so don't think he has physically cheated? He broke down when told all I know &I said he will change?

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 10/08/2017 21:45

He won't change. He's only saying that because you caught him out. Dump him.

BitOutOfPractice · 10/08/2017 21:53

"Stopped helping financially"?! What does that actually mean?

user1463939186 · 10/08/2017 21:59

He was going half on monthly bills had an op so I said don't worry till your back on your feet that was the last time he helped with bills

OP posts:
user1463939186 · 10/08/2017 22:04

I have no family where I live or friends it's confusing.he has been good to me it's just this that has betrayed my trust & struggling to trust him again it's eating me up

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 10/08/2017 22:30

"Helped". That's the problem word for me. Helped implies the bills are your responsibility and he contributes out of the goodness of his heart. They're his bills too aren't they? He uses electricity and water and eats food and occupies space. Then it's not about "helping" it's about normal adult responsibilities.

What does he do with his money now that he's not "helping" with the bills? Drink? Drugs? Where's it going?

user1463939186 · 10/08/2017 22:41

He don't go anywhere just work or with me he buys some stuff we need but when asking him for his share of bill money recently I said is it you can afford your half he said he will be able to he has to cancel some of his unnecessary direct debits first then can?

OP posts:
user1463939186 · 10/08/2017 22:42

He don't do drugs he's only part time dondont earn a lot

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/08/2017 23:06

HE'S USING YOU. And you're letting him.

user1463939186 · 11/08/2017 08:15

Thank you for the advice everyone

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.