I'm learning extent of lies and it's hard.....

[tich31]

Ex walked out on me in February and was a broken man...I'd seen it slowly happen and was for a reason I guessed about but not that he ever ever talked about it.
So....I never spoke to him again but he sent texts occasionally detailing illnesses he'd suddenly acquired. I never believed the extent of the illnesses but did presume he was depressed and home ridden and out of it.
He was texting me saying he missed me, wanted to turn clock back and wanted me back etc.

I found out a 3/4 weeks ago purely by chance that he had in fact been seeing someone else for quite a few weeks and they were going away on holiday....all while he's texting me. Then I heard of a massive bust up and after 6 months he phones me completely out of the blue the other evening!!
I was totally on edge...guess some of you will be telling me I should have just put phone down but part of me was intrigued and maybe needed to listen to his lies. Oh my...it deserved an Oscar! But again about wanting me back etc.
But I know he's back with her and are off on holiday soon...poor cow.

But he's got inside my head and I can't stop thinking about it all and how easily people can dupe you totally. Can we actually trust anyone at all?
I hate him right now but know I allowed that to happen but also know he's just another person messing around and getting away with it.

I feel so hurt and deceived even though I knew he was capable of this but to have real evidence just makes it real and also wonder what went on when we were actually together.

I am so angry!
But I want to get over it.... can I??

He's weak. She is clearly a rebound and because he is not over you and processed you relationship ending he is tooing and froing he will most likely end up with neither if you.
Of course you'll move on. Try not to go backwards though. It's a waste of time

I want to...but just feel so deceived. And so she is. How do I not dwell....that is my nature I think!

How did I end up with that for 5 years??

It natural. It's not you but something that has happened to you.
The key is at first to distract yourself and do what it takes to make yourself feel better

Yes you can get over it because you've woken up to the fact that he's a player. Go you!!!!!
Many women don't, (because they're so fixated on the perceived positives in their relationship that they never stope to think about how they're being 'played').
I see it all the time and I wring my hands in despair at how gullible, accepting and naive so many women can actually be.
We need a massive, massive, educational drive on this subject to ensure that future generations of women can read the runes.
So, good for you! More power to you. I so wish that many more women, like yourself, could stop a relationship in its tracks, before it becomes abusive. You deserve flowers, big hugs and an OBE!

I'm trying to distract self. But holiday was first distraction but then I found out about it after I came back so on mind. I am strong but just maybe not strong enough when it comes to actual relationships.
Ah.... and he is having a nice holiday!

I've stayed angry today but I guess for me is that I just don't get how a person can be like that and not just small lies but real proper huge lies. Life changing lies.

He's spent weeks toying with me which I just don't get when he's moved on and found someone else. He's even been driving past my house checking to see if there is anyone else here.

I wish I was a stronger person as over the years I knew he lied and yet I allowed it to carry on. Was I just so desperate to be in a relationship? But we did have a good friendship but now I doubt that as I think he's like a chameleon and fits into whatever is needed.

I won't be going back....not now that I have so openly seen his deception and I find it quite disturbing that he would be making out he was dying essentially - bizarre. He was weeping down the phone last week......I actually think now he is a bit deranged.

Anyway....I'm not sure I will venture into a relationship anytime soon - don't think I can trust my judgement.