Female options wanted

[Mummahasbanter]

Ok so here goes. This might seem so trivial to some but it is driving me crazy and just feel I should ask if others have been in a similar situation and if so what happened and what to do.

So I'm a year out of a 11 year relationship which was toxic he was controlling and abused drugs, making the relationship a nightmare for the last 5-6 years. Now he has gone I've spent time on myself and my children. I have three children all under the age of 8.

Recently I started speaking to a guy I used to go to school and college with. I liked him all tho years ago and we some how got chatting over social media. I discovered he was also recently single and not looking for anything serious, which I agreed was me 100% too. So we have had a fling which no one knows about. He is a high flyer londer worker drinker so it's cocktails and sushi lifestyle me on the other hand it's rushed school runs messy hair style (I'm laughing while writing this) has anyone has a fling which has turned into something more? I am worried I am starting to get feelings so thinking of ending things amicable as I can't imagain struggling single mum of three is quiet what he's looking for he's more Likly to end up with someone more on his level but I don't want to ever lose that friendship or make it arkward for the future so I need to go the right way about it and do something before I end up broken hearted - as I'm so long out of the single game now I don't know what's what anymore

Advise on my stupid situation is most greatful

Just tell him you are developing feelings but you know he's not looking for anything serious, so you want to nicely put an end to things. Then if he feels it could go anywhere, he can tell you that!

I agree with what your saying 100%. But selfishly don't want to contact to stop either and I know it will. Sometime it's nice having the odd text / call in the eve distracts from how lonely it can be being on your own night after night

Gosh that sounds so cringe!

No it doesn't. It just depends on whether you'll get hurt in the long run. Don't put yourself down though. I'm a mum of three, in my mid 30s and my boyfriend has no dc and is ten years younger than I am. He seems to think I'm great?! Some men aren't bothered. But with you both saying you didn't want anything serious, it does need clarifying.

I agree with other posters - don't put yourself down.
So - you have kids. He doesn't, I assume? (Or, they don't live with him)?
Messy hair can be brushed. And eating sushi is easy.
But - more importantly - have the fling, have fun.
Maybe it'll turn into more. Maybe it won't. But - in the meanwhile - you'll have a friend and some much needed distraction.

And - one day - if it doesn't turn into something more - some else will come along.
There is always hope

Having an affair with you is a very different proposition to taking on your kids, and it's clear from his lifestyle that he's not father material.

So I think you're right to protect yourself - step back and keep his friendship, otherwise you will end up getting very hurt.

He's told you he's not looking for anything serious - he's telling you the truth.

He's such a nice guy good job looks after himself if I was a single girl with no children I'm sure it would be amazing. No I can't see him being the father type but I am also not looking for a guy to replace there dad. It's nice to have that someone you have to do things with on the nights you don't have the kids etc

Although this friends with benifit is also a very unclear game- we haven't discussed the rules can we go out out or is it just bedroom although so far it's only been bedroom fling but that was all I wanted so it was fine now I think I could want more it's so hard to discuss as I also don't not want to come across clingy or needed as I'm far from that either I just like to see know the ins and outs don't like the not knowing what to do or what is happening part

Thanks guys x