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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Where to tell them to sod off

2 replies

Dullardmullard · 09/08/2017 18:31

My son has a son of 7 our grandson and seen him every other weekend and 2 days during the week. This changed when he got full time employment but both him and ex worked through when he seen his son.

3 weeks ago all hell broke loose and he was rushed to hospital with meningitis and prognosis wasn't looking good at all.

He was put into an induced coma and on life support for 3 days.
A really scary time for all and we kept his ex updated with facts only to be told age related to his son as she refused for us to tell him and we felt that was her right.

The thing is we feel we should be only updating his ex not her whole family who have admitted in the past that my son is a waste of space and now they are approaching his girlfriends father for updates. Well it's one member of her family that is doing this. We feel she should butt out as it's nothing to do with her at all.

We have also discovered that our grandson is being told horrible things that have happened to his dad which really isn't on Ffs.

I want to tell them to fuck off the family not the ex but can I be as blunt or should I leave it in her court.

Son is slowly on the mend but it's early days and he could be months recuperating. He doesn't need this stress to which we have only given an abridged version to him as his memory isn't great yet.

OP posts:
thestamp · 09/08/2017 19:10

I'm really sorry to hear about your son.

Unfortunately I really don't understand your post, not sure if there are typos or if it's just that there are a lot of players and they're a bit mixed up...

Is the issue that you want to have a single point of contact in your son's ex's family - and you want that single point of contact to be your son's ex.

And you only want to tell the ex whatever facts about your son's condition that can/should be told to your grandson (the child of your son and his ex).

But other members of ex's family are contacting your son's new gf for extra info, beyond those facts, and that's annoying you. And you're also worried because someone has told you that your grandson has been given info that he isn't old enough to process, that will upset him.

Do I have it right?

Dullardmullard · 09/08/2017 19:21

Sorry that wasn't clear but yes that's it,but it's new girlfriends father the sister of the ex to son is contacting.

Said sister is saying that his son caused him to be ill too which he didn't which I think is bang out of order to do that to a child.

We don't mind ex being informed but not the rest of her family as it isn't anything to do with them really.

OP posts:
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