New here and after some advice. Should I go to his girlfriend?

[annie623]

Hi, I'm 39, 2 sets of twins (12 & 10). I've been divorced 5 years, fell in love with my best friend, but because of our situations, both with children and jobs, we could only see each other one full weekend every fortnight, and the occasional day in between. That ended in February, (after 18 months) and I was devastated. Never known heartbreak like it. He's desperate to keep our friendship, even though I've asked him to leave me to get over it, he still reaches out regularly to check on me, and my kids, he now has a new partner. (who I had to get a restraining order out on her after she took my details off his phone, Called me, turned up at my work and harassed me to the highest level my local Police had seen in years! But that's a different story and he's happy to stay with her.)

I met someone in June at an end of school fair, he looked me up on Facebook, and we started chatting. Now, I know I'm not old, but after everything, I don't feel like I can put myself back "out there", for a relationship. Dating apps were full of men wanting to sext!

Anyway. This man did the running, he knew vaguely what had gone on, and how upset i was, messaged me hundreds of times, called me every morning on his way to work to say morning and that he was thinking of me. Text me goodnight. He messaged throughout the day, and a lot in an evening. We chatted on the phone for hours on end, he even took me out for a meal after I told him I'd had a bad day at work, and he wanted to cheer me up. Honestly, I was happy.

This weekend just gone, I called him, he didn't answer. Then I get a text saying 'please don't call unless you know I'm free.'
Yes. He's in a long term relationship. Has been for 7/8 years. They have a young child. I actually feel sick I've done this to another woman, and let all my defences down, finally, for someone who is a cheater! Nothing happened at the end of the date apart from kissing, but he actually said to me on the "date" that he wanted to prove to me that not all men are the same and he wants to persuade me to give him a proper go. However long that took.
He's still messaging now. People have suggested that I tell his girlfriend, but I don't know.

Any advice please?! I'm definitely done with all men now!!

Block him on everything you can and walk away, I wouldn't be dragged in to telling his partner though.

If it were me I'd want to know the truth so yes I would tell her. However this is MN so I'm sure everyone will tell you to 'keep your nose out'

Having been on both sides of this I would say walk away. I wouldn't tell the girlfriend... simply because

1. She probably already knows but has chosen to overlook it as its something he has done many times before.

1. She will find out in good time when he does it again and kick him into oblivion.

been in both positions, the other woman and the long term girlfriend. The other woman in me (was much much younger and selfish) backed off and negated any responsibility. The long term girlfriend wanted the truth no matter how painful it was, cant start to build yourself up without hitting the ground first and all that.

I would contact her. I would block him first. I would not want a surprise visit at work, phone call, random lady approach you in the street with your kids situation. Apologise like you mean it and stick to the entire truth. The "its happened to me and i never wanted to be that woman".

Block him and move on. DO NOT involve yourself in his relationship with his girlfriend. You'll regret it.