Aibu at Dh's apparent female age preference?

[fourtysixpercent]

Aibu to be hurt and upset that Dh 45, seems to be attracted to young women say 18+, early 20s college types? I have seen this in his porn preferences and in general females he seems to glance at, etc. I have also noticed he searched up a young female acquaintance's page on fb after I noticed him looking after her a few times in the supermarket, she's 20. Obviously I know men like to look at younger women, preprogrammed and all that toss, but I suppose what I'm asking is would you find this hurtful or am I being too over sensitive? I suppose this question is aimed at women 40s plus.

YANBU and I'm 44.

I find it really skin crawling when men 40+ salivate over women in their late teens and early 20's. I hated it when men in that age bracket paid me attention when I was that age and judging by my 20 year old niece young women still feel the same. When you're in your 20's, 40+ is old! It's your dads' age!

You also have the added yuk factor if they have daughters themselves who are in their teens or around that age, which is very possible at 40+.

It's one thing to admire a good looking young woman, I notice good looking young women and I'm straight but I also notice good looking young men but not to the point I make my DH feel uncomfortable about it and I definitely don't look at their social media sites etc. It's more a passing observation such as lovely figure/hair/clothes/lucky buggers in the prime of their youth :)

Turn it around, what would your husband say if you were perving over a 19/20 year old lad?

I have seen this in his porn preferences Wtaf? Porn preferences? You mention that as if you're talking about whether he likes long or short sleeved shirts ffs. You need to knock that on the head right now. Porn of any sort is not ok. Porn preferences- I mean really! He's not 15.

I'm in my 50s and I rarely find that men my age are particularly attractive ... All the head turners are much younger men, I don't leer at them or try and chat them up because I know they wouldn't be remotely interested in me and that would make them feel uncomfortable make me look deluded sad and desperate.

I expect men much older than me to realise that I don't find them attractive, but some men just seem to think they're God's gift to women that they can pull women who are obviously way out of their league

He's argued that when he's 70 will it be considered pervy to look at 50yr olds
I'm 50 and I sometimes get hit On by 70 year olds I think ewww fuck off Grandad😝

Its all over OLD isn't it? My parameters were same age as me up to 10 years older.
Most (not all) men were seeking at least 15 years younger as a starting point. Depressing.

This must be so draining OP. It is just so disrespectful of him to do obviously watch other women. But not only that, to deny it and gaslight you.

Porn use (incl porn of young women) and visibly checking out women. "Preference" for young women.

Deal breaker IMO. Sleazy git.

I had a friend at 25 who behaved like this: wanted to and did date younger women, eg sixth formers, 18 year olds rather than our age group. Horrible and was among the reasons for letting that friendship go.

Sure these old men are looking for much younger women but dream On Grandad you ain't got a snowballs chance in hell🤣😆😅

Well not unless it's a millionaire Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee type situation....

Creepy, and at 70 he'll still be perving on 18 year olds...

What age are men and women interested in dating?

Women in general date their own age
Men are in general focused on the 20 year old bracket no matter how old they are.

okcupid data.

Is it not human nature? Not to ogle and be gross about it obviously but to find youth attractive? I certainly notice good looking lads all the time probably in their early 20's and I'm mid 40's. I also notice attractive young women as well because beauty is sexless really. A beautiful sight is a beautiful sight be it a man, woman, flower, animal whatever. I dont think women get called pervs for fancying younger male celebrities etc so I think its actually a bit sexist for men to get it in the neck.

Women in general date their own age
Men are in general focused on the 20 year old bracket no matter how old they are.

The implication of which is that men have a much greater capacity for self-deception.

Is it not human nature?

I don't think so. I really don't ogle men in their 20s. I'm 46 - it feels completely wrong.

Sexual attraction is indisputably part of human nature - how you manage that is up to you.

So you agree then? I'm confused.

Its all over OLD isn't it? My parameters were same age as me up to 10 years older. Most (not all) men were seeking at least 15 years younger as a starting point. Depressing.

But you were happy looking for men who had set their parameters to at least 10 years younger

When I was 17, I started dating a 22 year old. We were together for three years, breaking up when I was just turned 20 and he was 25. His next girlfriend was 18. They stayed together for several years and broke up fairly recently (I'm from a very small town, people still keep me up to date for some reason!). His current girlfriend is 18 - he's now 31.

It seems like he is stuck with the same age preference no matter how old he gets and I, personally, find it creepy!

Apparent female age preference...... Aka men perving over young women.

Just yuk.

I find the idea of a 20 year old absolutely revolting. Bleurgh. No I don't think you are being unreasonable to be upset/concerned, but stop making excuses for him. He should be content that he has a lovely wife and stop humping his hand looking at people who are only just out of their teens

Lot of people seem to have made a Massive jump from the OP's dh "glancing at" to their own projections where he is "leering" and "salivating".

I don't think it is particularly strange or odd to glance at attractive people, and I think people of both sexes do it.
How you respond to that is up to you, but I don't think it is unusual.

I think if it is noticeable to someone else then it is more than a glance.

Amusedbush that is exactly like my DDs ex, he dates a girl, then moves on to another younger one, normally 16 yrs, which at 20 wasn't so odd, but move on to 28 and its pretty strange.

Wasn't there a study to show that the majority of men, whatever their age found women aged between 20-25 the most attractive and this included men in their 70's! The reality though was that whilst they may have found that age group most attractive physically, few were actually with women of that age. Unfortunately the same study detailed that men found taller slimmer women more attractive too!