Age gap too big?

[AgeGap]

Hello,

I've just joined and was hoping to get some opinions. I'm a 30 year old female, a new male colleague started at my work a few weeks ago and has asked me out on a date, he's funny, considerate and easy to talk to, all good so far .... except he's 22 years old. Is this age gap too big, or just plain weird?

I've been having doubts and I think it's more down to our ages than the actual gap if that makes sense? If he was 25 and I was 33 for example it wouldn't bother me at all. So am I overthinking it or is it an age gap other people wouldn't consider?

8 years isn't that big a gap. Like you say, its more about how young he is than the actual age difference.

It really all boils down to how much you like him and how mature he is for 22. Whats the harm in going on a date? Don't worry about what others think if you like him.

You're overthinking it. Just embrace it, enjoy it & most importantly, go for it.

I married someone with a similar age gap and we now have several DC. Turns out that our similarities far outweighed any age gap differences. Age gaps also feel smaller, the older you get. Go for it.

There is 9 years between my husband and I. I had just turned 21 when we met, he was 29. We have been married for 2 and a half years and have a nearly 2 year old son.
We couldn't be happier.

My husband is 12 years younger than I am. His age is irrelevant. Who he is as a person is all that matters. I met my husband when he was 24, and he was light years more mature than many 40 year old men I have known. Is he responsible? Does he treat you with respect and value who you are? Does he pick up after himself and consider the two of you to be a team in ALL things? If yes, he's a keeper. 9 years later, married for almost 7, and my husband and I are happier than ever. Forget the numbers, just look at the person.

It's not tooooo bad. However, with you being the older one, I feel you will be ready for babies/marriage soon-ish, and he really won't.

Could be a problem. Unless you both 100% flat-out do not want children.

11 year age gap between myself (older) and DH. I gave him a few years to establish a career and find himself before thinking about babies in my mid-30's. We married when he was 21, but he was emotionally mature and a bit old fashioned by that age...I suppose personality and development make a huge impact on whether these relationships work or not. I liked the fact he wasn't too experienced (jaded) about women when we met, and I find older men who have dated around, left bad marriages are bitter and a bit mixed up. I am lucky :-)

My advice is that life is short, and if you meet someone amazing then throw age to the wind and go for it.

Half your age plus 7. Is the rule

Go for it! I am 44 and my partner is 32. If the chemistry's there...

It's not an insurmountable age gap as such, but at the ages you are it may mean you have differing thoughts about your imminent futures. I'm also 30, but remember myself in my early twenties well. What I want now is wildly different to what I wanted then, and I'm glad I had nothing and nobody to hold me back at 22 from doing all the stuff I've done between then and now. It's not only maturity as such: by all accounts I was a pretty sensible and mature 22-year-old. But at 30 I am more focused on career and money and living on my own terms in a way I can't imagine the average 22-year-old man being. But obviously you and he are two different individuals and as long as you've got shared goals and values it can work, I suppose. You don't have to make a decision now. Go out with him. Have fun. Explore each other. See what happens. If it's right then it's right.

As it's a date he's suggested and not marriage, I'd say go for it.

I met my OH when I was 27.5 and he was twenty.
Six years later we've since had three children.

Eight years is nothing, really.

The age gap is fine ... the problem is 22 yo men aren't usually ready to settle down and have kids in the next couple of years

One of my very good friends has been married very happily for 6 years and they've been together 18 years. His wife is 9 years older and I envy their relationship.

There will be examples of relationships that work and ones that don't. First step is to go on the date. See if you actually like him.

Thank you for the replies. That's what I was worried about, being at different life stages, I guess it can't hurt to go out on a couple of dates though and see how things are. It's nice to read about similar relationships working out well.

Thanks for all the thoughts.

I met my DP when I was 30 and he was 21. There are 9 1/2 years between us.

I did struggle a bit with the age gap mentally but then thought "why not?". Six years later we are still going strong.

8 years isn't much. I was expecting you to post that the gap was larger.

As PPs said the future problem might be the timing of children, but for now, have fun and keep an open mind.

I'm 42. My boyfriend is 33. It's early days, but no problems so far.

I met my husband when he was 18 and I was 24. We have 2 daughters aged 17 and 13 and are celebrating 20 years together next year.

The only time you can see there is a difference, is when I dance to a song and he comments he was still at school!

Go for it! Close friends met when he was 22 and she was 32, been together 15 years with 2 children :)

It's not a problem go for it. I think when you get into more than a decade apart it will get very difficult as you get older