I am 4 years and half a world away since my future and past were destroyed by narcissistic psychopath. He lied for years, emptied my account and hid money.
He does pay child support but not what he should, the price for my freedom. He rubs my nose in his property acquisition and holidays. Tells me what he makes in rent alone more than covers child support but won't pay for school camps etc.
I have bought a house, retrained and found work. Children are settled but continually disappointed by lack of contact or elated at extravagant gifts ( which usually require my involvement) or bemused at inappropriate DVD I won't let them watch.
It is my own fault for looking back. I had a great life but had to leave it and all my friends behind as due to his choices could no longer earn enough to maintain our lifestyle alone. Lack of time, energy, freedom and money mean I no longer have friends.
He has now destroyed any potential for rekindling my life in the future.
I was looking at pictures of an event I used to attend which involved the children and there he was with my friends! Telling them goodness knows what. I guess they weren't true friends after all. I messaged ignoring the fact he was there but saying how nice it was to see everyone, as I would even if he wasn't there. No replies. So I message a particular friend I am in regular contact with and has visited me, no reply.
No answer to FaceTime. I checked Facebook and it seems I am no longer included. She is very active and until recently would comment on my posts or like, now nothing. No acknowledgement as she used to almost instantly.
I know I need to step away and just get on with raising my children but am so upset that he has found another way to hurt me and take from me. I am scared in the future he will buy the children's loyalty and rewrite history to them. I am careful to not say negative things about him and encourage the children to appreciate what they have and get. I tell them he loves them just struggles with being a parent.
If he had died I would have lovely memories but mine were all destroyed by the monster he turned out to be when life didn't suit him.
I try to be thankful for what I have even though life is stressful with a challenging ASD child and the usual demands three children bring.
I will stop looking back but when will I stop being so sad I lost my memories, my husband and the life and home I worked so hard to build?
I recently found concrete evidence that he was cheating in emails he had sent. At least I now know I wasn't being paranoid but it doesn't help.