Am I asking too much ?

[36plusandtrying]

Been married 2.5 years. DH is works from home, I do the 1.5 commute each day. Feeling generally crap today, got my period - currently TTC, got cramp and my PT put me though a tough session at lunch and had to work back a bit. Emailed DH though the day saying feeling crap, need a bath and a cuddle on the sofa. Have come back late, no bath run and dinner not started..... was I expecting too much to think I'd come home to a bath ready ? He plays sport one night a week, without asking he always comes home to supper, beer and a bath ready. How would this make you feel, or am I being an emotional wreak !

Well, if he doesnt do this normally youd probably have to spell it out and ask him to do it, not rely on hints.

I wouldn't run a bath for anyone until they were actually in the house, or 5 minutes away. If they were delayed at all, the water would just go cold! If you'd text him half an hour a way and asked him to put the dinner on for x time and then he didn't, then I'd understand if you were cross.

Surely he could do dinner while you had a bath?

I'm now making dinner .....

Ask exactly what you want. Subtle hints are lost on a lot of people.

Just because you do it for him, I wouldn't automatically expect it from him

Sorry you've had a crap day. If you'd phrased it "having a crap day, would love it if you'd run me a bath when I get in and make us dinner" would that have made him more likely to do it?

Why would you make dinner for him if you are unwell? Make your own, eat it then close the door to your bedroom and leave him to it.

I could have asked him to do it, but I just wish sometimes he'd take a subtle hint ! I made dinner cause it was quicker and easier. Got myself hot water bottle, now off to tuck self in bed !

I think expecting him to run a bath for you is a bit unusual but expecting him to cook dinner isn't.

I think you need to learn to be a bit more assertive. The words you need to use are "I'm not feeling well, can you make the dinner please?" not all this nonsense of hinting and then being a martyr and making it yourself because it's "quicker and easier".

Also, stop running his bath for him. He's not a child and you're not his servant.

Don't hint, be direct. Also don't email in case he misses it.

Men (in my opinion) don't take hints. They need it spelt out for them.. "Please will you run me a bath and start dinner as ive had a shit day " should do it..

Agree 100% with @HeddaGarbled

Don't be whingey and childish. Ask for what you want and stop treating bloke like he's 5.

It's not a man thing. I wouldn't pick up on that either.

I like people to be direct and state what they want/don't want. Not play these silly mind games where you're supposed to pick up on hints and know exactly what they want.

Cannot be doing with it.

I get how you're feeling OP, a bit of thought on his part would be lovely. However I'm of the view that if you don't ask you don't get.

Really interesting opinions, I guess I'm just a bit fed up of having to ask all the time. I don't think I am treating him like a child by running him a bath after footie, surely having to ask him to do everything is more like that. I just think that's a nice thing to do for someone. When you've been together a long time (10 years in total) - I would have hoped you pick up what each other needs, without constant asking or reminding. Incidentally I am not playing silly games, being childish or whingy. I think those comments are a bit harsh imo.

I seriously dont think some men read between the emotional lines and thry need to be asked to do things that matter to you.

Stop expecting him to read your mind. Men fucking suck at that. Be direct.