Jokes or "put downs"/ ? Can i not take a joke??

[emmad1980]

Ok so my boyf of a year (we dont live together) makes jokes like "you're lucky to be with me" as well as jokes that i dont "work hard like him".. hes said to my son a few times jokingly "whats mummy doing? Oh nothing".. We split up over this plus a few other issues..mostly his arrogance .

I met him yesterday for coffee after 2 months not seeing him. 30 mins in hes touching my hand and compliments me how soft my skin is several times then adds "like they've never done a days work".. looked at me coyly / jokingly... i laughed at time but on reflection its a put down? Or am i over reacting/sensitive?

I know its up to me to decide what I think is ok/funny etc but id like others views?

Ps i work full time! So his jokes arent even accuarate lol (altho my house is not as clean as his... he has ocd!! Lol)

It's a put down. Not funny at all except if only very very occasional. Completely lacking in respect and sensitivity if he persists when you've asked him not to.

He's abusing you and minimizing it. Don't go back to him, he will ruin your confidence and gas light you. I'd say the same back to him to see how he responds.

Thanks robina thats what i think. If he cant be on his best behaviour 30 mins in after not seeing him for 2 months he never will.

The only acceptable jokes are at the joker's expense.

The lucky to be with him would be it from me.

Jokes are meant to be funny. That's not funny!

It's a put down, well done for leaving him.

Naw he doesn't sound like much fun to be with.

XH used to brush off nasty comments as a joke. It's how his reign of abuse began. Years later and I'm still struggling with all the put downs and the shit he said to me.

Oh gosh notreallyarsed - that sounds awful - it sounds like your ex started off subtly like how mine is - that's what I worry about -it getting worse as time goes on - esp as we dont even live together yet!

He sounds horrible, sorry .

He should have been on his best behaviour! On the plus side, he's showing you exactly what to expect from him. I'd say no thanks to that. He won't change. So you can like it or lump it. I'd find someone who's nice to you and supportive of you. They're definitely out there.

I remember you from before and he still tries to put you down at any opportunity. He has not changed a jot.

Why did you agree to meet this individual at all?.

He sounds like a cunt. Hope that helps.

My exH used to be like this. As I used to say to him - it's not a joke if you're the only one laughing.

Why oh why did you go for coffee with him if you hadn't seen him for 2 months? Why are you considering living with him ("we don't even live together yet")
You know that you deserve better don't you?
Why would you model to your DC that you (or they) can be nit-picked in this way?

Bottom line: you don't like it, he either respect your POV so your relationship can go on, or he doesn't and you dump.

Keep your distance, you can do better!

He sounds like a bell end

Sounds like you're well rid of him