Would you be friends with an ex love on FB?

[hickorydickorynurseryrhyme]

I don't think I'd mind so much if I didn't post much but I post quite often on FB and not sure I want him seeing all my photos and personal stuff etc. We haven't been in contact for years but I decided to contact him to be at peace with the past and put it to rest. We did that and he has now friend requested me but I'm not sure about accepting. WWYD?

I am. It was a long time ago now and he's married, I'm married and I look at his posts no differently to anyone else's. If there were any lingering feelings, I'd have stayed clear though.

I'm friends with my ex husband and a couple of old boyfriends from way, way back. Nothing untoward ever but I guess it depends on your past relationship with them.

One of my exes is now one of my best mates, I can tell him absolutely anything and if I ever need him, he's there for me in a heartbeat. And yes, we're friends on Facebook 😁 I suppose it just depends on the situation xx

I was very hurt when we broke up. It was a long time ago now though and we are both married to other people and I got over it years ago but I'm not sure I want to let him back into my life and even though we wouldn't ever see each other he would regularly know what I have been up to, see pictures etc. I didn't mind sending him a msg but I'm not sure about being friends on FB. I think I just need to leave it in the past. At least we have made peace.

I'm friends with one of my exes and also a few guys I dated for a while.

Ex-Boyf was a good friend before we dated and we remained good friends after we split. I have more contact with his lovely wife though, and still try and see them when I head back to the U.K. as we have loads of mutual friends.

Not weird if you don't have feelings for them. I'm very fond of him as a friend and think of him more as a brother.

I don't understand why you contacted him but if you don't want to be in regular contact,don't friend him. I think you were being inappropriate getting in touch.

I'm FB friends with my first H and two ex boyfriends - it's fine. You move on with your life but you don't stop caring about people you once loved - I like seeing updates and that they're happy and settled.

Could you have him as a friend but restrict what he sees? I don't understand FB well enough to know, but I think there are ways you can do that.

I have 3 ex boyfriends on my fb (in fact DP is also fb friends with one of them) .

However with each of them we have been in contact since splitting up, would still chat in person if we met each other and (with 2 of them anyway) have seen each other socially lots after splitting up as we had lots of friends in common so it seemed natural to be fb friends.

I think it's a little odd that you still needed to make peace despite being married to someone else but as you initiated the contact then you should probably send him a message saying you just wanted to make peace and wish him all the best.
Don't add him as a friend if you don't want to but no need to make him feel like a dick by ignoring his friend request when you were the one to contact him.

I was friends with my first boyfriend on FB (he requested me) but frankly, as an actual grown up, he posted some really stupid and TMI stuff so I never really engaged with him. He then left FB so it saved me the bother of blocking him.

You don't need to have anyone on there who you don't want, it's an entertainment thing, not a social requirement.

I would say no. Don't add him if you feel awkward. Just ignore the request and if he asks then say thanks but I'd rather not.

Mind I'm not sure why you contacted him in the first place really!

I have about 20 exes on FB.

I've got two exes on fb. They are not the ones I still feel sad about. I am genuinely happy when they are successful and sad when they aren't.
The two exes I DO care about tweet me or email with me on the very rare occasion. It doesn't make me happy having contact with them but the idea of losing them forever is very sad.
I wouldn't have a CURRENT bf on my FB as I don't want to see his social media life and risk making myself anxiety-ridden for stupid little reasons. But I can get insecure. If I had a husband, I would as presumably I'd feel secure.
So yes, add them if you are free from their spell totally and only interested in a friendly way.

No, I wouldn't. I know I wouldn't be interested in any ex enough that I want to maintain friendship and have him see my thoughts/comments and photos. If the ex was that brilliant he'd not be an ex would he. So Im not fussed about letting go. If we come across each other in real life we can say hi, there are some I can have a really good chat and laugh with. But I don't have a need for any more than that.

Im friends with exH as he's my DDs' dad so we are linked of course - but he isn't on FB. DDs are grown now so we chat on the phone occasionally and when he pops in to see them we have a good catch up. If he was on FB I wouldn't befriend him on there for same reasons. m friends with OH, relatives, and close friends on FB. Thats about it

We haven't been in contact for years but I decided to contact him to be at peace with the past and put it to rest

Unless you have exceptional circumstances for doing this what you've done is basically disrespected your current relationship and partner.

IME, no good comes of getting in touch with exes to "put the past to bed" - it's usually a symptom of the rose tinted goggles being put on when something is lacking in a present relationship.

The only time that I've known of getting in touch with an ex to be of help was to do with a bereavement and one party's need to get "closure" from the other in order to truly move on with their life.

Unless that's the case here - and unless you've mentioned this to your partner - I think you've earned yourself the right to bollocking. I'm sure you'd do the same if the positions were reversed.

If you wanted to accept him you would have. The fact that you haven't accepted is indicative that you don't want to do it. If you don't want to do it then don't do it! It's really neither here nor there whether other people are fb friends with exs.

Yeah I don't know why I contacted him tbh. I was feeling a bit down and thinking about the past and my life before marriage and kids. I lost a parent too and my ex knew him so I told him. I don't want to contact him again and probably shouldn't have. Part of me also wanted to get across to him that I'm happy with how things turned out. I love my husband and am so glad I didn't end up marrying my ex. I will probably tell my husband I messaged him.

Do you still have feelings for him? To have gone out of your way & contacted someone from the distant past, would suggest you do.

I can't see how this will end well

No I don't have feelings for him.

I was sad at the time over 10 years ago but I'm happy now and he never really saw me being happy after we split so I wanted to get that across too