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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Want a separation but can't see how we can afford it

5 replies

newbroom · 06/08/2017 18:35

As above really, I want to separate from my DH but I just can't see how it will work financially, in the short term at least. Longer term I think we will need to sell the house as there is quite a lot of equity so we could probably both buy new, smaller properties. However in the short term we earn just enough to run one household, there's no spare and we have no savings. We can't afford to run the family home plus a rented property for the other person. Ideally I would want to stay in our house initially to provide some stability for the DCs, as I do the majority of childcare. However, I'm also not sure what happens if DH won't leave, the house is in both our names.

Does this mean we have to continue living together until the house is sold? I really don't want to do this as things are pretty bad at the moment already and I haven't even broached the subject of separation with him yet. It will get nasty (he is emotionally abusive/controlling hence needing to get out). Any experiences/advice appreciated x

OP posts:
DMX · 06/08/2017 18:56

I've been looking into this myself.
Depending on your wage you can claim tax credits, you already have child benefit, and he should be paying maintenance, .
Have a look at tax credits benefit calculators online.

DMX · 06/08/2017 18:56

Not sure with the house as I'm trying to find out also!

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 06/08/2017 19:12

He doesn't have to leave, usually the person who wants the split does.

Is there no chance of upping your hours or getting a second job to increase your income?

newbroom · 07/08/2017 07:50

Thanks all. Unfortunately can't increase my hours at work, and cost of childcare is prohibitive. Am seeing a solicitor soon to talk through my options (expensive but I have a feeling things will turn nasty over money so need to be careful). It's scary but even being skint has to be better than this Sad

OP posts:
KJPxx · 07/08/2017 07:53

Seek as much help as you can. Your local council and tax credits helpline will offer you advice. Citizens advice can also offer support. Good luck OP x

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