Is this a red flag?

[Hueandcry]

I've been seeing a guy for 8 or 9 months. Due to past abusive relationship I've been quite cautious. My 2 teens know abiut him but they haven't met him yet. The thing is he hasn't told his kids/family about me. Kids are late teens/20's so not little. Wondering if anyone thinks this is a red flag?

I don't mean to be stroppy about the " he's still married " thing. But this board is full of unhappy women whose partners are still married to someone else but who won't get a divorce because of < insert implausible reason here > .

And usually he's living with his GF rent free / dirt cheap because he's still paying the mortgage on the marital home .

That's as well as those men who are stil living in the same house as their wife but dont sleep together / live in the annex .

So you'll forgive a bit of scepticism here . And obviously you have a few niggling doubts too otherwise you wouldn't be posting.

But If you are happy with the way things are and you are sure that he's not actually still living with his wife then go for it. LDR with no ties / commitment work great for some people.

Agree with Aussie.

At the moment, he is married, his kids don't know about you, you've never been to his house.
It doesn't look good to an outsider; it actually looks more like you are just providing a free place to stay when he's working in your area.

Why isn't he divorced after 4 years? Have you asked? Cynical me is using the kids as an excuse. I'd love to be proven wrong, OP. Be wary.

You need to find out if they're definitely not a couple and why does it take so long to get divorced. It could be because of financial benefits but which benefits do you have?
His children could be hating his father for breaking up the family and that's why he isn't introducing you to them. It could also be because they still live together as a family. He is definitely hiding something. Is there a way to hire a private detective or maybe to go there by yourself?

He will need somewhere to live if he is divorcing, there are some real users out there that meet single mothers who have property... because they are losing their homes due to divorce, its ideal all they have to do is move in,
How did you meet him ?
You sound very nice btw and wouldn't want you to get hurt

OP, any update?