Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How wrong am I?

3 replies

feelingsilly1 · 06/08/2017 10:39

Sorry if this is the wrong place to post.

Bit of background is that me and OH have been together for 10 years. OH is the oldest by far and his siblings are all younger. We have, a few months ago decided to set a date/plans for our wedding but at the time OH sibling had just had a baby and it's their first and first child in their family so I didn't think it was the right time and didn't want to make the announcement and take away the limelight of their first baby so I asked OH to wait a few months. Now OH sibling has announced their wedding and plans which would be before ours (they have only been together a short time) and all the family are excited,making plans and constantly talking about it etc again first wedding in the family. How wrong am I to feel like I can't share our news now as it will look like we are copying them and also takes the attention away from them on their special time? I don't want to upset them. I also feel like no one will be excited over ours as it will be not long after theirs and they have a year of it all also theirs will be bigger and better as we can't afford that.

I appreciate I may be very wrong as I am feeling slightly depressed lately and I am getting help with that as it's been though lately and I'm slightly sore that me and OH can't have a baby at the moment and he has no children of his own so is naturally very excited etc over his niece. I am also not use to how families work as I didn't grow up in a normal family plus I always have a habit for keeping quiet and people pleasing and putting everyone else before me so just wanted one special day for myself. I know that is selfish and silly. I feel pushed to the side in general lately by OH even if he doesn't mean it. OH doesn't understand how I feel and tells me I am silly or gets cross I feel like this. I don't have anyone else I can share this with.

Can someone give me a wobble as I feel horrible and selfish for being upset and jealous.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 06/08/2017 11:37

If you're getting married then that's a celebration too. I don't understand this idea that there's only so much happiness to go around or that you can't be happy for other people at the same time as being happy for yourself. Announce your engagement and don't be so worried about other people and what they're doing .

Presumably there will be other people like your family and friends who will be happy for you too

feelingsilly1 · 06/08/2017 14:32

I know I shouldn't feel like that. I think it's because I won't have family and friends there of my own so it's mainly my OH's family and friends. I won't have all the happy family moments and normal wedding build up etc like others which makes me feel sad. We are planning just small and simple.

OP posts:
loveyoutothemoon · 06/08/2017 14:56

I'm sure everyone will be happy for you, just like you will be for them.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.