Completely lost myself in my relationship

[user1486956786]

I'm having a mini breakdown. (Period is definitley also due which is probably contributing to my current emotions!).

I've been looking back through old old photos and I hardly recognise myself in them.

Before I met my partner and in the first couple of years we were together I was the happiest, free spirit, active, outdoorsy, independent person. Taking lots of photos of us and nature and just generally a very happy confident lover of life!

Fast forward 5 years, It's not that I've completely let myself go, have gained small amount of weight, but nothing too drastic but I've stopped doing everything I once loved (running/cycling/hiking/exploring).

We still have a great day to day life , I'm still confident with people but I/we never do the things that were my thing before I met him. I also feel so self conscious when I do exercise, I'll only go to the gym early to avoid people and get embarrassed exercising outside in day light.

Feeling so mad and sad that I've let this happen. I feel like I've lost control of myself and my life.

Anyone else felt like this before????

I'm going to go to the shops and buy myself a new exercise outfit and then go put head phones in and get some fresh air and try and just give myself little goals. This week goal will be to go for a at least one jog during the week.

Was very therapeutic just writing it down and putting it out there already!

Always good to write it down. Good idea buying some new work out stuff, & exercise will naturally make you feel better xx

I understand got myself 2 golden retriever dogs which is great as have to go out walking everyday and gives me and hubby fresh air and exercise gets him away from sport on TV and box sets lol

I also feel so self conscious when I do exercise, I'll only go to the gym early to avoid people and get embarrassed exercising outside in day light

Why do you think you have these thoughts?
I have been using gyms for 35 years, no one looks down at anyone else in a gym. Big or small, super fit or biginner, EVERYONE in a gym is on the same journey. They are just at different places on that journey.

If you feel self conscious at the gym, there are loads of free apps you can download to get a good workout. I used one on holiday recently and it was great. No equipment required.