Heartbroken

[namechanger2735]

I'm going to drip feed. The ins and outs don't matter, they're irellevant. I'm heartbroken, he doesn't care. We have kids together and it hurts me even more when he comes to pick them up and makes no conversation with me/treats me like a stranger. I desperately want to be with him and he's completely done with me. It's been 2 months. When will my heart stop hurting

Why did the relationship between you two break down?

He just became really distant and then announced he wasn't happy. We haven't spoke about it since

it's going to take time.

Try and focus on the positives, he's obviously wanting to be part of the kids lives which is good as some men don't want to know after a split.

Maybe him being cold and not making conversation is because the split is hard on him too? Maybe he doesn't know how to act around you now? Would a talk with him help to make things less awkward?

I'm covinced his actions and the split are down to him having someone else. He just makes me feel (I don't know how because we haven't spoke) like I'm pathetic for caring. As if I'd be stupid for mentioning anything or trying to talk about it because to him it's nothing, I'm no one

Which I no makes me 'better off without him' but I'm not. I miss him and I can't get on with my life without him

I'm sure that's not how he feels though, your the mother of his kids.

If he does have someone else then yes I'm afraid you are better off without him, that shows what type of man he is. One things for sure, you will find out sooner or later if he does have an OW as these things don't stay secret for very long.

I'm so sick of crying. I feel like I'll never be truly happy again. i know everyone will say I will, but what if I won't.

You will be happy again. It might take a long time and trust me I've been where you are, feeling like your not loved by the person you love is horrible but I'm now married to an amazing man and I'm happy. Your in the very early stages and it's totally normal to feel the way you do.

If you don't be truly happy again, you'll be unhappy. Fact. The world won't end.
It's too soon to be feeling better. Get right into the misery and experience it. That will make it pass more quickly.
There will be ok moments, then good moments. When you're ready to feel better, focus on them. Each ok/good moment is 'one in the bank'. Store them away. They build up.
Don't blame yourself for feeling bad. You're going through something horrible. But it will pass.

Did you already have children? Not that I'm anywhere near entertaining the idea of another bloke but I just feel like 'why would anyone be interested in someone with kids, with a body ruined by kids' I have nothing to offer anyone

I really remember feeling like I would never be happy again. It was awful. I was so sad and confused and I just felt like I was in a long, dark, tunnel.
It did pass. Not straight away. It took longer than I thought. But it did.
I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Chances are he's being distant as a defence mechanism but it still hurts you.

Yes I already had a DD and she still sees her dad. My DH is a lovely step dad and we now have two boys together. Don't for one second think nobody would want you because you have kids, the right man will love your kids just as much as you do.

You sound as though you have very little self confindence, why don't you try and work on that. Concentrate on yourself instead of your ex.

I think it makes it so much harder for me that I have no answers. I almost wish I'd done something wrong so that I knew the reason. I supported him through so much, including losing family members, job worries, so much. I loved him, I raised and loved his children while going to work and providing for them (with minimum help). He just decided I wasn't enough.