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Original poster

Would you support your young adult child if they wanted a wholly different lifestyle?

18 replies

Hickeyola · 05/08/2017 21:58

So rather than the conventional education/career path/good job they'd rather live an alternative lifestyle 'off-grid', at subsistence level. Can't say too much for outing myself but this is what I'm looking at and I'm worried. They're not involved in drugs or anything else undesirable. It might be fine for a year or so now but in a decade or two down the line?

wwyd?

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 05/08/2017 22:00

How old are they? How would they support themselves? Are they being manipulated by anyone?

Allyg1185 · 05/08/2017 22:00

100% support. As long as my son was happy then he would have our full support

RebornSlippy · 05/08/2017 22:03

Yes, I would support them. Heck I'd go live with them, I think they have the right idea! Although, it is very dependent on their age. An adult with the necessary skills that has chosen to do this is one thing. A 14 year old who has decided to hell with school and education and lacks the practical abilities to sustain themselves is another. Most people who choose this lifestyle would have transferrable skills such as construction, horticulture/farming etc.

SuperBeagle · 05/08/2017 22:04

It's for them to figure out if a year or more down the line it doesn't work out.

If they're an adult, they can do whatever they like. I might not agree with it, and may express concerns or ask some questions, but at the end of the day, I'd respect their choice and accept that any consequences of that choice are theirs to deal with.

shivermytimbers · 05/08/2017 22:05

Are they over 18? If so, it's up to them to organise their life how they see fit. I'd try to keep an open mind, take an interest in what they were doing and keep lines of communication open. I wouldn't necessarily contribute anything financially to the situation if I didn't think it was in their best interests.
Having seen my own two young people through the teenage years and early twenties, I have learned to hold my nerve when I hear outlandish plans. My two have both ended up taking fairly traditional career paths but would have laughed in my face if I'd suggested that this would be the case a few years ago. Young people have to find their own way to the path that is right for them.

DancingLedge · 05/08/2017 22:06

Go for it. Trying things out is best /easiest when young.
Who knows where they'll be in 10years time? Still subsistence and off-grid, or chucked it in to become an investment banker?
I admire those with the courage to plough their own furrow.

venusandmars · 05/08/2017 22:07

Full support. And also support for sufficient education so they can support themselves on a sustainable basis.

So maybe not a degree in commerce, but maybe a qualification in horticulture, or nutrition, environment and enterprise.

Liara · 05/08/2017 22:12

I lived the conventional life/education/career path/good job thing until my thirties, then chucked it all in and moved to an off grid lifestyle at subsistence level.

I discovered just how ignorant I was, with my Oxbridge education and office based job, and how absolutely useless I was at actually getting anything at all even vaguely useful done without tonnes of infrastructure to support me.

It has been a lot of work, but I have gradually acquired the competence you need to pursue this lifestyle (it is substantial, trust me!). Passing it on to my children so that they have those skills is one of my major aims as a parent.

I think that the way the world is going this kind of skill is going to be more and more important, whereas the ability to bullshit your way out of any situation that is the mainstay of the rat race career path is going to come a cropper as climate change, population pressure and the general shitstorm that is building up ready for the next generation starts to hit big time.

MrsMozart · 05/08/2017 22:16

Y'up.

sleepyhead · 05/08/2017 22:22

I'd be fine with it I think (and I'm a horribly conventional person in most ways).

They'd likely develop lots of really concrete skills for living which is never a waste of time.

HadronCollider · 05/08/2017 22:23

Sounds like your childs got their head firmly screwed on to me. Wish I'd been that clued up when I was yohng. Now I'm wishing I could do the same, but circumstances make it a completely unworkable pursuit.

minipie · 05/08/2017 22:25

Depends on so many things - their age, their reason for decision, have they thought properly about the long term (eg what if they want kids, what happens if they get sick, etc), and whether I believe they are the type of person suited to it (eg if they've always been into fashion it would seem unlikely to work out...)

gillybeanz · 05/08/2017 22:34

We did it for 12 years and quite often I wish we still were.
However, at 51 I enjoy my creature comforts too much, but haven't completely ruled it out.
It may be the making of them and if it makes them happy that's all that matters.
I also wholeheartedly agree with the philosophy of Liara

Want2bSupermum · 05/08/2017 22:34

Yes but as long as they could support themselves. My dad was a hippy. To this day he is all about sustaining the ecosystem and energy capture so it can be used elsewhere. His work in the research of energy adaptation has profoundly affected our world today.

My grandmother was horrified that my dad was a hippy as she assumed he was taking lots of drugs. My grandfather told her to back off and let my dad find his way. He was so determined nothing and no one could have stopped him. To this day he has never touched drugs and remains very anti drugs.

Sn0tnose · 05/08/2017 22:35

Yes, I would. A relative of mine lives this sort of lifestyle and is much happier for it. I think it took some time for his immediate family to come to terms with the fact that he would never be a home owner, or do the family barbecues/package holidays etc that they enjoy, but he's just so much happier. He travels all over the country and has had some fantastic experiences.

Oldrockman · 05/08/2017 23:46

Support them, as far as Im concerned as long as a child does not become involved in any form of hate movement or act in a way that harms others then what ever makes them happy. I may wonder if they are doing something daft but it is their life and they have to do what makes them feel content.

crazyhorses3 · 05/08/2017 23:57

Why not? I would love to do it myself. As long as they are over 18, I would be very proud of my child for wanting to do this. Conventional life doesn't bring happiness or contentment most of the time. Go to Uni. leave with massive debt, struggle to feed yourself and pay rent, blah blah. I feel in the future that living a more unconventional life will become the norm. Having a child who doesn't want to be a sheep is worth celebrating!

ReanimatedSGB · 06/08/2017 00:54

Given the state of the economy at present, I think your DC has the right idea. The alternatives - either 20 grand of student debt and a shit job in a call centre, or endless scrabbling to get by in the gig economy - are not appealing, are they?

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