Would you stay friends with someone who is two-faced?

[AandBandCandD]

Me (A) and B have a mutual friend C who we've both known for a few years. Until recently both me and B were better friends with C than we were with each other. C has moaned and bitched about B to me quite a few times over the years. I tend to either ignore this or remind C that B is supposed to be her friend. B knows that C does this and still maintains that C is one of her closest friends.

Naively, for a long time it didn't cross my mind that C might also bitch about me behind my back but she does. I've started to distance myself from C and am on the verge of ending the friendship. Although she has some good qualities, I dislike the two-facedness of her talking both behind my back and B's back. This has caused some tension in my friendship with B as she can't understand why I won't just accept it as part of C's character. So I'm curious about what others would do in this situation.

I can't abide 2 faced people - I'd dump her. Life is too short

Get rid. She is probably talking about you behind your back too.

I wouldn't think this was ok and wouldn't want to be friends anymore. If I had issues with a friend I would discuss it with them and not bitch behind their backs

It depends. Sometimes friends have some annoying qualities and whilst you still like them and want to be friends with them, you need to vent sometimes. Sometimes you're friends with people because they're part of a friendship group. They're ok but you wouldn't necessarily choose to see them as much.

I cannot stand two faced people. Of course she was bitching about you all along. My mother was the biggest 2 faced person I ever knew and I didn't tolerate it from her either!

No, there is no real friendship with someone who is two faced. I am close friends with a group of three other women. In all the years we have been friends, not once has any of the three criticised one of the others to me or run them down. If they did, I would seriously re-think the friendship. If someone criticises someone behind their back I can say with certainty that they will be doing the same to me behind my back.

I also don't get the concept of being friends with someone who has traits that are so annoying that you need to vent about them to someone else. If a trait is so annoying that I feel the need to complain to a third party about it, then I really don't like the person enough to be friends with them.

" B knows that C does this and still maintains that C is one of her closest friends"

Looks like you also talk about her to your friend.

Sometimes my close friend has been really annoying so i have vented to a mutual friend. A mutual friend will know the backstory (if any) and remind me of her good points. Also I will speak more diplomatically rather than just rant and rave like I would to dh or dsis.

If she is just bitching about superficial things I couldn't be bothered with that.

No. I've stopped speaking to someone because I got fed up with 'between me and you' about her so called close friends-you only know that they are doing it about you with others and its not on because it turns people against each other