So my friend peered at me right up close and said....

[Spazzl]

'Wow, have you plucked your eyebrows recently?'

Clearly agog that I hadn't. I've got to the ripe old age of 40 something and never plucked my eyebrows. They are not overgrown bushes for those of you who might be wondering. But I prefer a natural look, I don't wear make-up. It felt really cruel and I was very embarrassed & too shocked to say 'Did you mean to be so rude?'. She's a glamour queen and exceptionally particular about her looks. I have to hand it to her, she is very pretty and always looks lovely. though still hasn't got a partner at 50 something Then it was my feet. I Whatsapp'd a picture of my feet in new sparkly sandals. I'd manicured my toes myself, neat nails & a very subtle soft pink varnish. I thought they looked lovely. 'What the hell have they done to your nails?' She said as if I'd had them professionally done and they'd gone wrong. Honestly, they looked beautiful. That one I let go straight over my head as I felt she was clearly talking bollocks.... Next it was my jeans, 'You really should wear a straight leg instead'. This person has been an amazing support to me at times but all these casual comments about my looks are getting me down. I'm not surprised she's never settled down. I think men must find her very pretty at first but see no staying power for the long term. I think I'm going to have to cut her off. I like her very much but I hate being picked over & found wanting.

If shes a great supportive friend otherwise have you thought about just telling her to pack it in?

I will never get MN's rush to cut people off, if someone is doing something you don't like it is always worth just saying 'can you stop doing that, I don't like it' especially as if you've been whatsapping her about your sandals she might actually think you want her opinion.

She is one of those people who need to put others down, to build themselves up!

Pathetic!!

You do not need to be her put down, cut loose!

Meh. She's rude about your looks. You make snide comments behind her back about the fact she's single.

Sounds like you're both as bad as each other tbh.

You could pretend your not English and talk to her about it.

she is very pretty and always looks lovely. though still hasn't got a partner at 50 something

Something about pots and kettles is coming to mind...

As another poster said, can you not simply ask her not to make these comments as they are hurtful? It's weird she's got to fifty and not figured that out really but there you are. She sounds more like some girls I knew as a nineteen year old undergrad.

'I think men must find her very pretty at first but see no staying power for the long term.'

Just noticed that bit. Honestly OP, you're an ace at being bitchy too aren't you?

Ohyesiam
You could go for an in between line. "That's the fourth time you've commented on my appearance now. It's really important to you, isn't it.
Actually I'm happy with how I look, and was quite upset when you were rude about my fabulous toes the other day. Shall we agree to disagree on how groomed we want to be."

Stop her in her tracks each time. You don't need to tell her she is being rude out right.

Actually no, I don't pluck my eyebrows - never felt the need. Have you never noticed before now?

Whos 'they'? I did my own nail varnish actually, I like it. But I was showing you my shoes!

I'm happy in these jeans, I feel comfortable. Not keen on the straight legged jeans myself.

You are as bad as her. How on earth can you say that you're hurt by her judgment of you then make vile comments about her inability to "keep a man"

She might be pretty etc but she's jealous of you. You are obviously more lovely

You're quite snide yourself OP - maybe she hasn't met anyone she likes and doesn't want to settle. You lost the moral high ground with the digs there.

Actually I think she sounds very insecure. Pointing out things about someone else to their face and in a negative way, is usually a sign, even when it comes across as vicious.
This^.

You're allowing her to be the arbitor of whats good enough - and she's just being a bit rude and expressing her own view - you don't have to accept it all as 'the truth'. Just tell her you're happy with your eyebrows, toes, jeans thanks and change the subject (maybe something like 'Wow, your handbag's a bit flashy isn't it?!',then if she looks shocked, point out that you're just offering the benefit of your views, like she was!

I don't blame you for commenting on her status in the context of her being mean about your appearance - I don't think it implies that you're generally snide - you're just feeling like retaliating a little!

If she is very groomed then she won't be able to understand your lack of grooming, or whatever you want to call it. So she's giving you tips, as you would a sister.

You say This person has been an amazing support to me at times. She sounds like a good egg. All my friends have some pretty serious flaws. But then, so do I.

As for your horrendous bitching about her single status, I would advise her to dump you forthwith and not look back. You're the frenemy here.

As for your horrendous bitching about her single status
Wow, seriously, horrendous bitching? Making an anonymous observation that she's single on a forum is horrendous bitching, but repeatedly making negative comments to the OPs face, about different aspects of her appearance is offering helpful tips?!
I'm glad I don't have friends that helpful!

An 'observation'?

Spiteful dig I'd call it.