Hi, I have been lurking around mumsnet for a while but never posted. My little girl is 12 weeks old.
I felt I wanted to post on here as I am so ashamed at what my partner (baby's dad) has done, that I don't feel able to turn to any friends or family for help.
I have had suspicions for a little while, as when I was moving in to his house and putting things away I found an escort card under the bed. I think I just wanted to ignore it, I put it down to something he had perhaps done before I met him (we had been together less than a year when I moved in). I know I was probably being naive, but for some reason I did keep the card and hid it in my bedside drawer.
Then when I was pregnant I found a dodgy email written on a scrap piece of paper inside a notebook, I had opened it to rip a page out for a shopping list and it just fell out. I can't remember what it was, something like 'hotbabe@etc etc'. I confronted him and he said it was a junk email that came through with a load of porn on it and he had written down to add to his block list or something like that, he was plausible and made me feel terrible for questioning him.
After that, when I was heavily pregnant, I found a bag of condoms hidden in his sock drawer while putting the washing away. We weren't using condoms. I didn't want to accuse him though as I didn't have any proof and thought he would just make up an excuse. I counted them though, and went back and counted them a while later and they were all still there.
Now that I have typed all that out and knowing what I know now, I feel like it was obvious and I have been really stupid. But my little girl is only three months old, my partner works very long hours as he works on a farm, so I have been struggling at home mostly on my own as a new parent, so perhaps I wanted to ignore what was staring me in the face.
Anyway, today he accidentally left his phone at home which he is usually really protective over. So I thought that I would look. I convinced myself I was putting my mind at rest. There are messages from three different women on there, about meeting for sex locally and at hotels and in his car. He talks about cash (which he keeps telling me he is struggling with bills now i have started on mat pay) and also mention of 'I want to see you again' so they must have already met up. There is dirty talking and pictures.They are all in the last couple of weeks and older messages appear to have been deleted. Some of the messages to arrange meet ups have been sent early in the morning when he gets up to feed the baby :(
I am totally devastated and feel so stupid, he hasn't come home from work yet and I don't know what to do. I just keep looking at my little girl and crying and wondering how he could do this to us.