Do people grow on you?

[Mari50]

I've never been one to let someone grow on me, invariably I'm keen initially and then things bug me and I have to end the relationship (I am chandler bing!)
This attitude was fine when I was in my 20's- plenty more fish in the sea etc. I'm now in my 40's and dating again, I've met someone who is a good match (on paper!!), we seem to have a fair degree in common but there are things about him that make me think 'hmmm- not sure'
Initially there seemed a lot of chemistry but that seems to be deteriorating too but I'm not sure if my attitude is to blame (I can talk myself out of anything)
So, has anyone let someone grow on them and it's developed into a lovely relationship or do I just cut him loose?

I think you need to give people a chance. You can't just get to know someone on a first couple of dates.
maybe he is picking up on your vibes? Make another move and if nothing comes from that you might have your answer??

Yes they can and do! Just say to yourself I am going to give this a bit more time than usual, you may get a nice surprise.

When I first met my DH I wasn't attracted to him, felt awkward and uncomfortable and after the second date I thought (and still think!) he is the most gorgeous, funny and kind person I've ever met.

I am not someone who lets people grow on them, I am more likely to take instant and long lasting dislikes.

No - my first impressions are usually spot on. And if someone annoys me early on there is no going back. Trust your instincts OP - there is more to a relationship that 'on paper'.

Yeah, it's been a couple of months so more than a few dates.
I'm notoriously shallow though and all it's gotten me so far is a divorce, a narc exP and a string of attractive ex's.
He is lovely but the irritations are piling up a bit and I don't want to lead him on.
I've also realised that having a relationship really isn't that important to me just now, I'd rather hang out with friends and my DD. The fact I'm struggling to prioritise dating him is a big neon sign as well I suppose.

You have identified that you have other priorities - so go with that. If you are concerned about your relationship patterns you could look into getting some counselling or read up on why you might behave in the ways you do. Of course, you might just choose annoying buggers and your instincts are spot on!

Haha! Actually just finished counselling to fix the damage after 14 years of living with a textbook narc. Which is probably why I even decided to date this person as he's definitely not my usual type. But seems I can't pretend. . . . .
I think the main issue is probably that I'm not interested in a relationship at all. Maybe if I was I would make the effort, seems unfair to lead him on though so will cut him loose. Thanks for the opinions.