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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hand hold?

4 replies

TooLow · 03/08/2017 16:28

I'll try and keep this short, want to avoid drip feeding as much as I can

Bit of a back story first
My XDP and I were together for 6 and a half years (I know that's not long compared to a lot of mumsnetters but it's a long time for me). Anyway we were engaged, had a house together and 3 DC together.
We split up but have always maintained a good friendship and he looks after the DC and I still.
I never once stopped loving him and holding onto the hope that we can maybe make things work again in the future.
Breaking all ties was never an option for us because of our DC and I also have a very good relationship with all of his family.

When we split I went and stayed back with my mum and have been there ever since. It was a joint tenancy on a rented house and it still is, we never changed anything. I just became comfortable at my mums with DC and he stayed there with his DD (older from previous relationship that he has full custody of).

He now is in a new relationship and I've tried hard to accept this and be happy for him. I have met her myself and she seems like a lovely person and gets on well with DC too. I feel as though I have to put on a front when deep down I'm hurting.

They haven't been together for very long however and are planning on moving in together within the next couple of months. I'm aware that this isn't my business but I'll be moving back into our joint house with DC and he'll be supporting us financially but the thought of him living with another woman kills me.
IABU for thinking this way I know, but I feel so down and genuinely upset and I can't shake this feeling. I try and look on the positive side of things but when you feel really down like I do right now it's hard to.

I just feel so low and in need of a hand hold really.

(Also he does know about the way I feel for him but he just doesn't feel the same towards me, which is fair enough, I can't change that can I)

OP posts:
WingsofNylon · 03/08/2017 17:59

You never let go the first time so it probablyfeels like you are going through the whole breakup again. I'll hold your hand but I'm afraid I don't have any practical advice. Flowers

TooLow · 03/08/2017 20:09

@WingsofNylon thank you

OP posts:
WingsofNylon · 03/08/2017 20:19

I do know how hard it can be to let someone go. Living them can almost become a habit but you do need to take steps to mentally cut away. Have you felt ready to have new relationships yourself?

TooLow · 03/08/2017 21:02

@WingsofNylon I feel nowhere near ready for another relationship. It would just be a rebound anyway. I'm just going to focus on my DC and if a man comes along then he comes along. Not going to go out of my way to try and find someone

OP posts:
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