At breaking point with controlling, abusing, sadistic husband

[Onlythehorses]

Oh God, I do not know what to do.

DH, who started life as a loving if sometimes intense partner back when i was still wearing school uniform, has just got worse and worse over the years. He wants to control everything I do. I've been locked in houses, bedrooms, had stuff taken off me.

He definitely has a pattern where he is the worlds most loving man until I resist something. Then i am 'punished' by withdrawing something. By the time i am desperate to have it back (phone, car, help) I'll agree to anything so he gets his way.

I want to get the fuck out and drive and just keep driving until I find somewhere nice but you cant do that with children.
so how do I manage this?

You go onto Private Browsing and you get in touch with Women's Aid. They will help you.

What a horrible experience for you and awful for your children, too. He sounds like a monster.

Start giving bits of money/items of clothing/important documents to a trusted friend/family member when he goes to work/whenever you're allowed to see them.

Arrange a safe place you and the kids can stay and go to no matter what time it is so when you get the opportunity you can flee.

As hard as it is try keep things level so you have access to your car and phone as you'll need these to leave.

Possibly you could make your break after the school run when they return after the holidays?

AND DELETE YOUR INTERNET HISTORY SO THERE IS NO TRACE TO GIVE YOUR PLAN AWAY

Good luck

He's the worlds most loving man??

Due to the abuse you are suffering you are entitled to accomodation from the council

You will get child maintenance

You will get benefits

Do you have access to cash?

Do you have family nearby? Can you confide in them or someone ?

Every part of your description of him is horrifying. You don't have to live like this OP. This is not what a normal healthy relationship looks like

Follow the excellent advice upthread and start planning your new life now. Contact Women's Aid - they are exactly the right people to guide you through this. You can do this, you can get your life back

Thanks I have been in touch with WA but they havent been enormously reassuring with regards to contact with the children.

I dont have anyone I can give things to. In any case I have nowhere to go. Sometimes I feel I am just stuck with it.

Just a thought, are your DCs in school (obvs after the holidays?) could you speak to the welfare officer, maybe they can help arrange something? Or at least let you store things at school? Looking online if you can get all your things together and present yourself to the police they are able to help.

Also england.shelter.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0005/23387/ShelterGuide_KnowYourRights.pdf

This has useful information in relation to emergency accommodation