Heartbroken

[Girl1234]

I have previously posted on here before thinking my partner was cheating on me/talking to other people etc... I was right and now I'm left heartbroken and in debt.

I found out last weekend that he had booked an apartment with another girl and spent the night with her. Apparently this isn't the first time either. I confronted him about it and other than the usual sorry, he doesn't seem to care about me or our relationship. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. I'm not eating, I don't want to go out, I feel so low and I don't know how to cope with this.

I thought we could have maybe worked things out but judging from his responses and the fact that he hasn't made no effort to work things out, its not going to. He said he hasn't been happy with me for a long time and thinks its best if we break up. I wasn't aware of any of this seeing as we have talked about moving out together, having kids and had holidays planned.

I took a car out for him on finance at the beginning of the year, which he has been paying for every month but it is in my name. He has now dropped it off to me but I can't afford to pay the payments every month and I have enquired about selling it, but as he has ran up the mileage, the car has now decreased so I need £7,000 to pay off the remainder and to clear it out of my name. He knows I can't afford to pay it on my own and I have asked him to help me and he has refused.

I just don't know how you can do this to someone you love. Apart from the cheating, how can he leave me to pay for a car that I only got out for him to make him happy :( I know I am stupid but I love him and I thought that we was always going to be together. I never thought we would break up and he's never given me reason to believe he would leave me or leave me in such a shit situation.

I literally don't know what to do, I feel like everything is going wrong all at once. I thought I was going to be with him forever, I'm now left heartbroken and £7,000 in debt

I have tried to get a loan out for £7,000 but have been refused. The bank has told me not to keep applying as it will effect my credit rating even more and to maybe wait a few months and then try applying again.

I am only 24 so I don't want to effect my credit rating by declaring I can't afford the payments. I can't tell my parents because they will be devastated that I have done this for him and also because they are going through financial difficulty as it is, if I tell them this, I don't want to put anymore pressure on them.

Any advice?

what a prize arsehole.
firstly you are better off without him.

secondly, you (I hope) will learn from this mistake

thirdly, do you have anywhere written down text/email etc that you bought the car on his behalf and he agreed to pay for it, and then perhaps get some legal advice about it.

Finally, explain to your parents, do hide it from them, I am sure they will be very supportive of you.

Sorry to hear this Girl!

I can only give you some ideas as I was in a similar situation with car finance after myself and exH split.

Although you have only had it for a year, have you contacted the finance company to see if they would consider voluntary termination? You may still have some outstanding to pay but might be considerably less than £7k.

Do you have your own car you are paying for and could get rid of easily? Therefore reducing outgoings and you keep that newer car (understandably you might not want to) or selling privately (dealers etc tend to offer a much lower price than private).

Most importantly try and keep your head up as much as possible. Although you are in a sticky situation just now, you will get out of it in a much happier place. Given what he has done to you recently you are much better without someone like that in your life xx

Justbreating - It was either face to face or over the phone we spoke about this. The only thing that shows he was paying it is the direct debit which he paid every month into my account.

K0729P - I also have a lease on a car myself which I pay for. Luckily it finishes in December so I only have about 5 months left of paying for my car but then it goes back to the lease company.

I only took the car out in February this year so I have only had it for 6 months. The contact is over 4 years and from what I've read on the documents, voluntary termination is when you have paid at least half of the amount off which is about 2 years into the contract.

I did contact the finance company but because they own the car, I can't sell it without clearly the £23k from them first. The car is only worth £17,000. I have also tried to apply for a personal loan which I have been denied.

I just hope he may come round to his senses and have a conscience and help me out but until then I'm stuck :(