How do I broach this?

[pullingmyhairout1]

This will be long, so apologies but don't want to drip feed.

I am an only child. My mother is a narc, manipulative and generally her behaviour is appalling.

In 2012 she moved from Hampshire to Leicestershire to live near me. Now I'm in a situation where I have to move down south for work and I know that I'm going to get it in the neck! I'll get the emotional blackmail etc. I'm dreading telling her. I'm already anxious about it and I've not yet secured anything but will be before I say a word.

Tell me how I deal with this? She's a nightmare (previously documented on stately homes)

Sounds like you need to move as soon as possible. You'll never do right by her so do right by yourself

Good luck in the South

My parents moved about 7 years ago, to be close to me and their grandchildren.
We made it clear at the time that we may not always live where we do now. That whilst we had no plans to move, should the right offer come along, we would take it.

I feel for you. My parents are about to move close to me. DM is similarly dramatic. I don't want to live here for the rest of my life, so I won't be!

I think you just need to rip the plaster off. You know she is going to react badly and it sounds like you can't change that or avoid it, so the only way out is through.

I know you're right. I think time to secure a job and then work on the house situation. Then tell her. This is going to be fun ... not!

It's your life not hers...do want YOU want you are not responsible for her happiness but you are responsible for your own...my mother is a controlling witch I have told her that I do not want her moving close to me ever...I am happy living an hours drive from her...she always used to say that life is what you make it...she is know alone, lonely, miserable and a liar...speaking to her recently it was a huge pleasure to say to her never mind mum...but you know full well life is what you make it...it felt so good to say and mean it...can't stand her

Thank you user. Sounds like you have a nightmare with yours too!

Don't give her your address. Tell her you don't want her living near you. I'm deadly serious.

Ok Mael that sounds like bitter experience.

I hate this because I feel like it's me being unreasonable, but she is so controlling.

I can't find the stately homes thread.

Told her. Went as expected. She won't be moving near me. Shame that!

I think when parents want to move near it should always be made clear that you may want to move at some point so cant guarantee to always be around, so they should move because they like the area/city etc, not because of 'you'

My mum and I have never got on so I was never sure why she moved this way in the first place

Tell her flat out and when she kicks off, tell her you WILL NOT listen to any of her negative, manipulative bullshit and then stick to your guns. She can't control you unless you let her.

Aqua it's done. I won't have anything more to do with her now. When I change jobs I'll change my mobile number so she'll have no way to contact me.

Good for you! Look forward to a happy new beginning! I wish you the very best.

Thank you