My needs versus my family

[babycow38]

I have posted here before but need some good advice now, I am unhappy in the place I live, I yearn to live in Cornwall, was brought up there, really feel the need to go back there and live, I have a job I love and could transfer to Cornwall, but my other half has a job that keeps him firmly in Manchester, which is my dilemma, I want to say to him can we do a long distance relationship, can we love each other enough to make it work. Our children are needy teens, 18 and 15 , they obviously don't want to relocate but I am finding it heartbreaking to live a life that I don't want to be in, I physically ache to be living in Cornwall, I have spent all my childhood in Cornwall, it's never going to go away, but I love my OH and kids

I see you've decided to make a medium-term plan rather than going off now, and agree with others that this is the best idea for all of you. My two are the same age as yours, and I'm also seriously compromising on location - except in my case it's a need to get away from where I am. I won't hijack your thread with details but I do understand that it can be a physical need. I didn't intend to end up here and it has had serious adverse effects on my life, both practically and mentally.

But for now, I'm basically just waiting it out. My 18 yr old is going to uni next month, and I want to give both her, and her sister when she goes, a stable base to come back to for a few years while they find their feet. But, like you, I can still make plans, although we're lucky in that we aren't tied geographically by work. And in the meantime I can visit the types of place I want to be instead of here. In my mind I call it 'research' and 'planning', and that gets me through.

The only thing I think you should ask yourself is: is the Cornwall that you miss so much actually still there? We can all hanker after earlier, better days, our lives before things went 'wrong', if we feel that they have. But places change as well. Before you make any drastic decisions, whenever that turns out to be, make sure that it's a place that you miss, not a time of your life.