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Original poster

is it possible to have a happy 2nd marriage?

17 replies

peachlimeorange · 02/08/2017 19:51

When you have children from the first?

I know I am way ahead of myself but i am wondering. I dont want to be on my own forever but I dont want complications of step siblings and so on. Does it ever work? Can it?

OP posts:
WhiteCaribou · 02/08/2017 20:38

I have been married to my lovely 2nd DH for 12 years now. I came to the marriage with four DC aged between 7 and 17, he had two DC slightly older. We are very happy, the DC all get on well, my DH has always treated my DC as his own and would do anything for them. Yes it can work, yes you can have a happy second marriage.

I hope things work out for you.

Desmondo2016 · 02/08/2017 20:58

Omg my second marriage is blissful. I highly recommend them. I had kids, he didn't and now we have one together. I'd highly recommend them over first marriages.

JWrecks · 02/08/2017 21:01

Absolutely!

My parents are both on their second marriage, both with 2 of their own children. Been very happily married for nearly 30 years now and are perfectly suited to each other. It was a crowded house for a while, but we all got on and are a big, loving family.

As a matter of fact, when I think about it, I can't think of anybody I know who is in their second marriage (a fair few indeed) who is not happy - and FAR happier than their first.

thefalloutwillbeawful · 02/08/2017 21:23

Bucking the trend a bit, it's my first marriage that's about to end, but my H's second, and he hasn't seemed happy for years. I think sometimes the hurt from the first breakdown comes back and plagues the second marriage as well Sad.

Obviously I don't think generalisations are possible though.

Original poster
peachlimeorange · 02/08/2017 21:24

Hope so. Maybe I wouldnt meet anyone anyway. But i dont want to be alone.

OP posts:
vsg1963 · 02/08/2017 22:38

I'm sorry to go against what others have said but I'm in my second marriage and I'm not happy. I'm sure it can work for most but sadly not for me....

RainyApril · 02/08/2017 23:52

Statistically, 70% of second marriages fail and a % of the 30% that endure must be unhappy.

I suppose people are less afraid of divorce when things start to go wrong the second time, less likely to tolerate stuff.

theoldtrout01876 · 03/08/2017 01:03

I entered my second marriage at 38 with 3 kids by my first husband. They were 11, 10 and 8. I have been married to Dh for almost 15 years, he rocks. The marriage is strong. We have 12 year old together
He had never been married and had no kids so there was a learning curve there, Im not saying it was easy but all worked out. He accepted me as a package deal with the kids.
Its possible

MTB133 · 03/08/2017 08:23

I think there is a danger with some second marriages that they were built on little foundation. Many people are vulnerable after the break up of the first marriage and often seek someone "safe" whilst this works for a while, eventually it can lead to problems.

HipsterAssassin · 03/08/2017 09:18

Do 70% of second marriages really end in divorce?

RainyApril · 03/08/2017 20:05

Statistics here

Though in googling did also find a couple of encouraging articles suggesting that second marriages have a slightly better year-on-year divorce trajectory, due to increased age.

Sadmum23 · 03/08/2017 21:58

Been together 38 years 5 children together plus three from first marriage. Always worked as a team

TheNaze73 · 04/08/2017 07:28

The stats on 2nd marriages going TU are staggeringly bad. If anything you'd think it would be the opposite as people would have learned from their experiences.
Are you planning on having more children in the future? If not, is there any point in a second marriage anyway?

Columbine1 · 04/08/2017 08:16

That is not UK stats though April and the article is mostly conjecture...Yes women more financially independent through waged work but men more "domestically independent"? No data on that....(& not according to MN :) )

BikeRunSki · 04/08/2017 08:19

My sister and I are children of my father's 2nd marriage. His first wife also remarried and had more children. Both these second marriages were happy enough, and only ended on death (my dad, his first wife's second husband).

BoredOnMatLeave · 04/08/2017 08:23

Not me but my DM is wonderfully happy in her second marriage. She wasn't married to my DF but married when I was 4, divorced and remarried when I was 10. My Step-dad is great, I am very close to him. To be honest I don't know if they could live without each other, they are meant to be together. They had my brother together and she became a SAHM, Step-dad was more than happy to support them as well as me, he treats me as his own.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 04/08/2017 08:26

I'm the product of my parents second marriage. They were totally devoted to each other, DM had a child who dad adored and brought up from 11.

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