Online dating is it a road to nowhere?

[toolonginthetooth]

Increasingly finding it hard to meet someone in real life as I'm so busy. I'm exploring online dating as an opportunity but I'm finding my standards quite high and being bitterly disappointed. Ima curvy girl and some weeks I'm a 14 others I'm a 12. Seems to be a problem for a lot of men. I go by an initial attraction but I don't discount anyone. If I feel the pull, I feel the pull and talk to them. If I don't I don't
Doesn't matter their appearance as much to me. Seems to me men only attracted to smaller women
Recently someone messaged me saying all my exes are 10-12 so this will be a new experience for him and he has reservations but would still meet me as he likes me I was like erm well what a shame for you that you're so judgmental that women have to look a certain way and let's leave it at that. He said suppose you make a good point can we be friends? I'm like no we can't be friends. Up until the day before he was well into me and we were about to have our first date. Something happened overnight but I don't know what
What's everyone else's take and experiences

You're so right there

I've deleted it for a while gonna try the old fashioned way of meeting people by increasing my social circle I think

I met my partner online. We have been together for 7 years now. Married, children. When I first started out OLD I was just after some fun. I was lonely and enjoyed meeting new people. Genuinely never thought it would go anywhere. I had some really horrible dates. Then lowered my standards somewhat as I was sick of meeting dickheads. And then I met my partner who majorly downplayed himself!!!! He looked way better than in his photos. Thank goodness as we got on so well talking, and he turned out to be way better looking than I thought.

Sorry if I came across as harsh OP, really. I just think everyone has their preferences and it's counterproductive to bash them for it. If people state what they want upfront then it cuts a lot of the bullshit out, you know where you are.

Saying that, I know that getting to know someone properly, beyond a date or two, can sometimes turn all preconceived ideas on their head.

I wish you luck and hope you find what you want.

Seems to be a problem for a lot of men

Not at all. As long as your photos are representative then no man will get surprised by your appearance! Also don't read too much into texting before you have actually met.

I hated OLD (SO time consuming reading all the profiles & conversations that petered out, nightmare one date wonders..) but kept coming back to it as seemingly no alternative... Then randomly my OH contacted me

Don't have too many notional dealbreakers but fine to stick to important ones eg world view rather than looks!

Don't kid yourself you can get to know or fancy someone before you meet - hence keep chat time to under 2 weeks. I asked myself "Do we have enough in common to go for a coffee?" You need to meet several times (if nothing has put you off meanwhile!) to get to know someone.

I met my DP online and 2 and a half years ago and we are shortly blending families and moving in together.

I started OLD a few months before meeting him. I was a curvy size 14-16 and was upfront about that from the beginning. I didn't truly expect to meet anyone after having coming out of a long and miserable marriage. I had a whale of a time. Had a several dates (no chemistry) and a couple of FWB flings.

I ignored the accepted myth of meeting quickly and took time to get to know people before going on a date. My bullshit radar is quite good and it worked in that I met no weirdos and all the men i met were lovely, just not for me in the long term. Of course you will get unwanted messages and the infamous rude pics but can just ignore and block. In a strange way it actually boosted my self-confidence as it showed that men did find me attractive both physically and mentally.

Then along came DP. I would never have messaged him as I had seen him and thought he was too good looking for me! He messaged me and, due to his work, it was nearly 2 months before we could meet. During that time, we undoubtedly began to fall in love and since then we have been inseparable. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was the first person he messaged!

So, you have to kiss some frogs to meet a prince but it is possible. Good luck!

I went on 1 date from an online site before I met my DP. I had chatted to several men ( and ignored quite a few) but none had the connection.

I think with online you have to be a bit more open minded and go for more conversation than initial 'looks' and you can't really tell a person from their profile or a few pics.

My DP and I have been together 3 1/2 years now...