I'm almost ready to leave, but can you answer me these questions?

[User2938mcd]

I've almost had my fill of shit. Married too young, a lot has changed, I don't trust him due to various things, been like this for a couple of years. We have 3DCS under 5. Im not yet 30 and sometimes think to myself, how did I end up in this mess. We still make each other laugh and do have an average sex life based on the amount of young kids and busy lives etc. but he incapeable of being a grown up, he is essentially still a child with regard to life attitude and finances, respect for me sometimes etc. I always wanted to marry forever

I do work, we don't own a home together. But some seperation questions I have are...

How do you cope with the feeling of loneliness? When he's left for a few days before I've hated the evenings, no one sat next to me etc

I'm concerned how the 3 young DCS would react? Coping tips?

I feel very uncomfortable with the thought of him being with other women whilst I'm at home alone? There's nothing saying he would rush into this however I kind of feel I know deep down we're not right together but to know another person could have him is a complete different story .

I worry about my daughter housing stability, what are the chances of us moving into social housing? We privately rent at the moment but I couldn't afford it on just one wage? I hear horror stories of being on the housing list 7 years or more

Any advice much appreciated

Sorry that last point is unclear, I mean I want to be able to provide a long term stable home for my daughters and me

I think only you know if it's not working, but sounds like you're not sure? Can you work on it? Is he happy?

Social housing in my area is a ridiculously long wait, years and years and years. But some areas are different .

I am not sure. He says he's happy and when given the chance by me before to walk away and have the single life he so fantastically demonstrates he wants through his crappy actions, he then insists he wants us and would never want to leave. We do try to work on it, counselling etc but he still does shitty things in the middle of us trying to fix things. Secret loans, purchases etc

He shows no iniative to change, he only does what I tell him is necessary to do in order to save us. And then when there's a further problem he always says 'but I've done all you wanted'. He basically needs a hand hold through life and I feel at times as though I'm dragging him through with me saying look this is how you be an adult... this is the way priorities lay when you have a family etc etc

My choice after every time something goes wrong is to hang on just a little bit more to save us. I know it's in everybody's best interests for us to stay together but how many times am I mean to be forgiving his overspending and his secret debts and his secretive behaviour?

He's only paying you lip service, he has non intention of changing and sees you as not having the guts to actually do something about it; there's no respect there and you should split and show your kids a good example, you don't have to live together to do this.

He's apathetic probably because he knows you will just suck it up, I think he needs a good hard shock.

At present I have £20k in the bank. There is a part of me that wants to take it and use it to start a new life