Getting through a shock breakup

[MollyWantsACracker]

My boyfriend of one year dumped me last night out of the blue.
We have just returned from an amazing holiday- we really had an absolutely great time.
We don't live together as I have children at home.
The reason he gave is that he is finding it harder and harder to say goodbye when I go back home, and that he is worried about the future.
There were no indications that this was coming and I am absolutely reeling.
I was so shocked that I just got up and left without talking. He told me that is the worst breakup of his life as he is deeply in love with me. I told him he couldn't be as he'd not do this otherwise. I should add that there's a big age gap (I'm older but he's a grown up!)

Just reeling. Sorry

I'm very sorry to hear about your break up.

This is going to seem rather brutal. However, I would take everything he said with a pinch of salt, no one likes finishing with anyone, they feel guilty and embarrassed, often they will spout utter nonsense, which seemingly your ex has done. If he really felt that way he would not be splitting up with you. The kindest thing you can do for yourself is accept that it's over and don't read into anything that he has said to try and soften the blow. You will get over this much quicker if you take this action.

Also go completely no contact.

Good luck

Yeah sorry not buying it, why end it then, hate to add to your misery but I'd suspect OW.

Do you think he might be trying to move in with you. Odd way to go about it though.

Sounds like he is ready for the next step of living together.
Maybe he thinks you wouldn't be up for that so is ending it. You see it on here all the time one person wanting one thing and their partner doesn't. The advice often given is walk away.

Adora how do you get the impression of OW.

Are you over having more children OP? Could it be that he want's them one day?

Firstly hope your okay. A break up is never easy especially a shock one. There could be too reasons firstly it's just an excuse but after you've had such an amazing holiday I suspect he has realised how much he enjoys spending time with you & doesn't want to leave you. It sounds like he does want to take the next step & is hinting that to you. Although he hasn't went the right way about it.
I think he wants to see what you will do now if you will chase him & ask him to move in or closer to him. Is there any way you can sit down & discuss all this with him & if this isn't the reason then find out what he's really thinking.
It's nothing you have done so don't sit & blame yourself. If he doesn't change his mind then don't worry there's someone out there one day who will treat you better & want to be with you. He will eventually realise one day what he lost & by then it will be too late & believe me they all do eventually. But remember as hard & upsetting as it is You don't need a man to be happy you, your children are all you need they will help you through. Big hugs x

Thank you very much for the replies. I'm still in bits. Woke up at 4am and it hits again.
We communicated briefly last night and it seems clear he wants out. I guess he just wants more than I can give him. And I have to suck that up now. I should never have gotten involved with a younger guy who doesn't have children. My own stupid fault.

He was alone for years before I met him, I foolishly thought that maybe we have the fairy tale because we really were so good together.
We had plans.

There are no fairytale endings and I suppose better now than 2 or 3 years down the line.

I'm so very sad. Thanks again x

I could have given him a lot tallfox but not children. I'm too old for that. Maybe that's at the kernel of it. He said he didn't want them, but who knows.

It comes in waves, this misery, doesn't it. Just going to have to try to get on with it.
I have the worst luck with men