I really need some counselling but cant afford it :( Maybe I could counsel myself with right books?

[user1496589862]

The wait is 2 years on the NHS and I really cant wait that long.
Im thinking maybe I could counsel myself. Hoping someone will read and point me in the right direction.
I need to learn to live with people in my life that have had a massive negative impact on me growing up. Im finding it difficult....

Sorry can't offer advice user but am in the same position. Had some free counselling but it didn't really help as was too structured then got referred but have to pay and can't afford it. I can recognise my behaviour and even what happened to me to make me react the way i do but can't fix it. In order to self help can you recognise the areas you need help with?

I need to learn to live with people in my life that had a massive negative impact on me growing up

Why do you need to learn to live with these people? If they bring negativity to your life then remove them from it. I have learnt to put myself first even if that means cutting other out.

Did you right a post about this the other day? Not sure if it was you or someone with a similar user name?

I have paid for councilling in the past, it was a waste of money, I have seen a therapist on the NHS, was only a few weeks wait, I'm not sure how much it helped, Improving my life and cutting out negativity has helped and using mindfulness to help with anxiety has been great.

Do you work, or study or anything? A lot of employers, colleges, etc have Counselling services you can access for free.

I'm studying Counselling. To be honest, an awful lot of it is about having a trustworthy person to talk to who will just listen, not judge or tell you what to do. Do you have anyone you could approach for that kind of support?

user

re your comment:-
"I need to learn to live with people in my life that have had a massive negative impact on me growing up. Im finding it difficult...."

No, you are wrong in that respect. You absolutely do not need to learn to live with people in your life that have had a negative impact on you growing up, whatever made you think otherwise. Family are not binding and staying away from toxic people and or toxic relatives is both self preservation and protective behaviour of your own self. You are valuable too.

NHS counselling can be also limited in both number of sessions and scope. However, BACP are good and do not charge the earth either. It is well worth checking them out.

I would also look at and post on the "well we took you to Stately Homes" thread on these pages and read the resources at the start of that thread too.

Have you tried contacting your local Mind office? Apparently they offer free counselling sessions, wait is around 3 weeks.

www.mind.org.uk/

They also offer paid sessions so you can be seen sooner.

Thankyou all for your replies :)

I am a student nurse and I know my university offer counselling but thought this was for any counselling to help get you through uni.

Its a very long story but...my parents put themselves first after their divorce when I was a young teen. Alot of emotional abuse from a step parent. My mum allowed it to happen putting her own needs first (she couldnt bare to be alone). I moved out at a young age and had my dd very young and bought her up alone. My dad left and didnt have anything to do with me. He as always been in and out of my life (always searching for something more). Spent Christmases alone, no presents, not being allowed to visit my mum. I lost friends, my self worth, and confidence.
So so SO much more to that but life today....Im single, independent, trying to become more confident, with 3dc's and training to become a nurse. I also work and pay childcare. Over the years my dad lost his way and is quite a lonely man. My mum left my step dad but is now battling being alone. She has me and my dc's and family but she needs a man. I am now a convenience...I would explain but its a long story. They offload alot (my dad especially) but the thing is as I have struggled since my ExH left, my parents have helped me financially and occasionally (once every 2 months when I cant pay childcare) my mum looks after my d'c for me to work. I'm almost qualified and wont need to rely on them so much but until then I do. This probably makes me sound ungrateful. This is why I need to talk to someone because there is so much more to this. I dont even know what normal is! They continue to put themselves first which is a constant reminder of my past and makes me feel worthless but they have helped me financially and with childcare so I feel guilty for feeling mad at them.
Thankyou for the messages :)

Sorry for all you're having to cope with.

Samaritans offer non-judgemental and confidential emotional support. It's free and you can contact them as many times as you need to. It's for anyone who is struggling to cope with their feelings: you don't have to be suicidal. You can call, email or visit a branch for a face-to-face.

Please approach your student support service about accessing the counselling service on offer. Dealing with your family relationships and the strain it places you under is bound to have an impact on all aspects of your life, especially your academic performance, even if you are not aware and feel like you are coping.
As a nurse you will be expected to give out so much to everyone else too, but also need somewhere safe to explore how you can top up your own emotional reserves, and take care of yourself.
Good luck with your training. I'm sure you will be an excellent nurse.

Look up the Live Life to the full website. It has free online courses. I think it's linked to NHS Scotland.

I only found it yesterday but listened to some of the samples and it sounds good. It's based on CBT.

You need a book on mindfulness (£3 from the works) and look into overcoming low self esteem by melanie Fennell.

Stay on the waiting list.

Your college should be able to offer you counselling through them and what you're wanting it for will be confidential anyway. Support for you will and does affect your studies. So you should be eligible for it.
It's hard to recommend a book for you as there is so much to gain from an outsider taking that time in counselling that you cannot do alone... but a basic counselling skills book would be of help for you as a nurse anyway. There is a basic book by Margaret Hodge about counselling skills. It would be worth a look.

Sorry. It's Counselling skills and theory. By Margaret Hough.
Amazon second hand books are often very good value. And it would be good to read for your nursing too.

Are you in the UK? You could consider low-cost counselling. Lots of therapists in training need to get their client hours to qualify for accreditation with BACP (the professional Counselling body).

I'm a counsellor and while you do have a lot to work through, I have seen many clients work through childhood emotional neglect and come out the other side with confidence in themselves and their futures.

I think counselling is a good move and believe you will greatly benefit from it. Wishing you the very best.

Oh, and I recommend this book :)

www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Thankyou all so so much for your recommendations, I really appreciate it. This week has been such a struggle and sometimes I feel like I want to run away. Honestly, thankyou all so much for each and every message. Im looking into them all!

Agree your college will help you. It doesn't matter what you need to discuss

Also lots of therapists will offer discounts for people who can't afford full rates. They want to help. If there is any chance you can afford to push for that

THere is a lot of help out there and the mumsnet folk are fab at helping you find it