Am I ready? What do I do! Mentally effecting.

[Em101xox]

I'm 18 years old, I apologise guys I don't have any kids but I feel like it's mums I need. Firstly, I'm a very outgoing female, I do suffer with mental health (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) it does effect everyday of my life, but I'm learning. A lot! Now, I met this guy, he was of the internet (don't kill me ;)) he was just meant to be a fling. Anyhow, he fell. Super hard, like us females, but it was him. Anyway, I started enjoying myself, but before him I fell so hard for someone, but he didn't for me. I have no idea how, but the guy I fell for is now my bestfriend (I have nothing no more) so back to currently, I now just wanna take things slow. But he started saying I love you after 2 days, he got kicked out so lived in my very crowded home for 3 months after 1/2 weeks of meeting! So for me i was like WOAH TOO FAST so it started effecting me more, I got poorly with my stress. He now lives with his mum. So we're meeting up now, spending time with each other as I had to blow of the relationship as I couldn't cope, I'm a free soul. I don't want any ties, being 18 and wanting a career. But he does everything for me, when I say everything I mean it. Every penny goes on me, his time, his emotions. I can trust this guy like no other. In a room full of naked women, with my secrets, with my life. Like I've never trusted someone so much. My confidence he brings up, he calls me gorgeous and beautiful daily. Flowers, clothes like an actual prince. But why isn't my gut feeling there. I hate myself not being head over hills for him. I want to show him everything back and not hurt him. But it isn't there! I can't spark myself. So at the end of this the day if you read this, what do I do? Will the feelings ever get more intense for me? Will I ever get them feelings. Is it a sign that he isn't for me? I just don't wanna throw away such a good guy, who's emotionally drained himself with just trying to get me to be his. Then see him with another girl in the future. What do I do 😫

You don't fancy him. If you can't return his feelings, tell him and cut him loose. Don't take flowers, don't let him spend all his money on you., don't drain his emotions, make that clear and get some space, otherwise you're just using

Him. Using him

I'm not using him, please understand I am not. He is a massive part in my life and I can't handle stress properly, he means tons to me. Don't start judging my feels saying I'm using him I know how I feel, it's defo not using. I've been used myself in the past, it's not nice.

If you haven't got chemistry with him, it's not something that is going to develop in time. You either fancy him or you don't. You aren't going to suddenly find him incredibly attractive, that's not how it works. Sorry.

You have to be honest with him, tell him you don't reciprocate his feelings, and don't accept any more gifts. Set him free to find someone who loves him back.

You don't have much in the way of feelings for him and he sounds like a dangerously obsessive character. I don't think you'd be making a mistake if you put on your big girl pants and told him it was over.

Just to add, letting someone you've only known for a week or two move in with you is a very poor judgement call.

You need to make it clear you're not interested and stop accepting gifts - doing so is leading him on.

Have I got this right? You don't want him, dont really fancy him but don't want to let him know because you don't know if you'll want to see him with another girl in the future?

Yeah Nainer stuff like that can happen I'm so confused and I know it was a judgement call letting him in, but he was gonna be homeless in a dangerous place. And I don't want too as I want to feel for him. I look at him and I get so upset as he's such an amazing guy I feel guilty I can't give back. I didn't come for sarcastic/mean answers, I know you're trying to come across "honest" but I'm feel super shit already dealing with this. Wish I could just forget everything😔 I hate it and I hate it went like this. P.S he is very obsessive as well! Which effects it also, trying to control who I see, what I wear, what clothes I buy. Gets jealous it annoyed if I went for a cider with my best friend, like oh my.