I must be mad

[CallofBooty]

I'm 27 - so older to know better but I need a very large slap with a very large cold fish right now

I've had a couple of serious relationships that both ended amicably. Started seeing another guy few months after last one - had been seeing him for about 3 months and he took it upon himself to move in. He was a blatant cock lodger.
Turns out we didn't get on that well anyway, the "relationship" if you can call it that, ended and he left.

We get on much better as "friends", I can't really see the point in this but we exchanged texts after he left and remained on speaking terms.

I've tried to go no contact with him because he's no good for me and is potentially stopping me from meeting somebody to settle down with... but I can't.

I am constantly drawn back to him. And why?!?! He's not even very nice to me, occasionally comes round and clearly for one thing only, yet when he texts I go running! He's one of those guys who, I assume, likes to leave you hanging there in case he gets bored or decide he wants you.

If this was any other bloke I'd think jog on! and block/delete but with him, I'm just finding it amazingly difficult. My friends are horrified with me!

Why am I doing this?? Why can't I stop?? Genuinely baffled at my own stupidity

Oxytocin

You need to go no contact in order to get over him.

Yes you can you just don't. It's your choice, more fool you if you allow him to conform you and your future.

*control

also look up intermittent reinforcement.

you need to go cold turkey

First off, harsh words: stop making excuses for your behaviour; he didn't just move in, you allowed it, he doesn't just treat you like shit, you allow him to.

Until you can value yourself more than a shag you will never meet anyone decent, I'd use this as a time to reflect and build a future where you don't accept such shit treatment.

You have to delete and block. Get a friend to hand hold with wine while you do it. Then make lots of plans, visiting family/friends, Zumba, join meetup groups and go out with them, take on extra shifts at work, anything to keep busy so you think about him less.

You do it because of fear of rejection? Fear of being single? Wanting to please?
He is using you, go now contact, you are worth much more and there are men out there that will treat you right ( though I'm still looking ).

Are you friends or fuckbuddies?

Either way, if you want to meet someone else, you know you have to go no contact. Delete him off everything, and do something nice for yourself when you clock up a week, then two weeks, then a month of not having anything to do with him.

yes, cold turkey is the only way. Block block block

Thanks everyone....
lovemusic; I think it is fear of rejection and being single! Which is ridiculous.
Emmageddon; its more a FWB - I end up just feeling used and promising myself I won't do it again... then he texts ...

Cold turkey, here we go... 🦃

Be strong. I know it's hard, I have a huge fear of rejection and when I start a relationship I end up trying hard to please, no one should have to do this, if someone wants to be with you they will put in the effort and not just st message you when they want to get their leg over.

I'm learning that being single isn't that bad, actually it's much easier and less stressful.

Identify with lots of this. So hard isn't it and the attention is welcome when lonely

Order these in case you need a reminder to get rid of him. .

Hahaha oh that did make me laugh