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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't see how this relationship can progress and don't know if I even want it to

2 replies

JonnyMcShortnFat · 01/08/2017 21:14

Have been 'with' bf for 3 years now (put in quotation marks as I don't think I am with him in any traditional sense). Met him a year after the end of my long-term relationship with my DC's dad. He was super keen from the start and wanted us to be a proper couple. I knew I didn't want to live with someone again so didn't want us to meet each others kids etc was just happy seeing him on our child-free time so 1 or 2 nights a week and every other weekend. I enjoy his company and the sex is incredible.

At the minute though, it all feels a bit stagnant and pointless really. We've never met each others family, I've met his friends a few times but we don't go out with them as a couple or anything. We've never been on holiday or even away for a night. Recently I did a nice thing for him and he said it made him realise how crap he was and that he should do more romantic things for me but so far he's done nothing (he used to do silly little sweet/thoughtful things quite often).

A few months ago I noticed that he never texts me when he has his DC (who are 12 and 10 so not little ones) and would reply with brief answers to any texts I sent. We haven't seen each other now for a few weeks due to holidays/family visiting and he last messaged me last Thursday. And it was a mundane message, just chitchat.

We're due to see each other this Thursday and I just don't know if I see any point.

I think it's 100% my fault that the relationship hasn't worked. Being so adamant about not wanting to be super serious/co-habit/meet each others DC from the start had made it a non-starter from the beginning really. Ironically, I now do feel ready to meet DC etc but I think the damage has been done.

I should end it shouldn't I?

OP posts:
friedegs · 01/08/2017 21:20

You don't need to end it but you do need to make a plan to move forward. Good luck OP.

TheNaze73 · 01/08/2017 21:45

You've done all the right things for the children. 3 years may be long enough now to establish the next stage of the relationship. Good luck

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