Posting here because its been a rotten evening and feeling very lonely. Partner of 2.5 years left after a total meltdown four weeks ago, we have a lovely baby boy together. Had an argument in the car after he was driving dangerously and he stormed out screaming (literally), had a breakdown in a garage, got carted off in an ambulance and it was over. He cut off all contact with me, wouldn't pick up the phone to any mutual friends either. This was the third time he has left in three months, always for a different reason. First time he did I had just sent out wedding invitations and booked a photographer, we were getting married in September and he said he'd been lying about women at work. I asked him what he meant but he just went dead silent for ages so I gave him an earful and he just put the phone down and didnt pick it back up for five days. I ended up begging him to come back. Second time he walked he said he prayed and God told him to do it.
A couple of mutual friends who did manage to get through to him this time after a few weeks have now blocked me, and I realise now there must be some serious monstrifying of me going on, I look back at the things he said about his family to me at the start about how awful they were (it didnt always stack up but he seemed really earnest) and I think he's doing the same about me now. He has always struggled with lying, to the extent that I've worried its compulsive, but I always told myself it wasn't malicious, it was more to try and people-please.
I'm no saint of course, but on the whole I feel I gave so much love and support to him, we had a really happy household with so much laughter, a good social life etc. He had loads of friends, I encouraged him to take time out to go see people and do his hobbies. I don't feel that one shouting match warrants this, especially after the way he drove. I feel like I've been hit with a sledgehammer by it all, I'm in total shock. I still love him to pieces, I thought he was the love of my life and miss him terribly.
I spend most days just blaming myself and trying to work out what I did wrong, and when he finally saw our son on Saturday (hadn't even asked after him for four weeks), I ended up trying to talk to him and tried to hug him and he turned away from me. Tried to make small talk and he literally winced when I was talking as if there was a bad smell in the air. I feel absolutely humiliated and rejected. He kept on saying 'I'm taking time to focus on ME, I'm looking after myself 
'
He'd put on weight and looked really healthy and happy, so I end up berating myself that I didn't look after him enough.
I have a wonderful support network around me but I think I'm doing everyone's head in. I feel immensely lonely, and am tying myself in knots because I just blame myself for everything. Trouble is, he blames me for everything too, so its just a double whammy of hate.
Has anyone been through anything similar? How did you cope? Did your ex ever come to their senses?
People say it takes years to get over this kind of thing. Its been a month and I can't face another like this.