Where do I find my peeps now? Friendship needs!

[catsbeensickagain]

I've been generally slobbing around feeling sorry for myself for having no friends - I have decided that I need to take some new action to get myself back in the friendship game; so advice please, here is the story of my friendship life so far.........

the basics
School days - too long ago and too far away!
Uni days - married my best friend , another good friend we see around 4 times a year with their kids, some on Facebook and one now lives in the US and we see around every 2 years. All scattered so no-one really close by.
Work - have colleagues I sometimes socialise with but am sort of the boss and so don't like to push it.
Baby groups - kids are now 10 and 14 so all grown up and scattered
School gates - I work at the school my kids go to, so some chats with mums, playdates etc but essentially a bit guarded.
Home - the least friendly village in Yorkshire.

recently
Have joined the clandestine cake club - good but really all about the cake
Have tried a couple of meet ups, OK but all about the booze (I don't really drink) and those are the only ones near me
Did a nature watching course - really good but no follow up events etc and it was too short to really click with people
Have joined in with a group in our village hoping to get some local amenities back - don't know yet, could meet people here....
Have volunteered as a school governor - love the role but not friendship making.

So where will I find people I click with?? If I wrote myself as a stereotype it would be: I am nearly 40, I enjoy cooking and am an aga bore. I am frankly mumsey (think Joules and Boden) and content with it, I love my cat and chickens and could talk about houses all night (I NEED Kirstie Allsopp as a friend I think), I don't drink, do like travelling, listen to Radio 4 and can't craft anything to save my life.

I think I just need to start going to places where there are people like me to let the friendships grow organically but right now I feel like a weirdo and can't think of anywhere. All suggestions welcome!!!!

Ha, you sound great, if you lived round here, I would be your friend , I do like a drink though!!

Thanks yetmorecrap, don't worry I don't disapprove of drink it just disapproves of me

Start a meetup? For coffees/chat :-)

Shayelle I am a member of the Meet Up website but not sure about being an organiser. The last one I tried said it was dinner and drinks, 10 mins in they were arranging to go to a biker band 2 had known from their Hell's Angels days guess I could be really specific about the group......

I wish you lived in my Yorkshire village - I've also lived in the Netherlands and like wearing Boden and talking about houses! You'd never get rid of me

Ah Scootergrrrl but maybe you do live in my village or nyorksyo's or ChristmasAccountant's or Pollydolly's how many unfriendly Yorkshire villages can there be (no one answer that!!). Perhaps we should all go somewhere universal at like the welcome to the village sign or the church or village hall at 8pm tomorrow and loiter hoping another MNetter turns up

You're in the wrong bit of Yorkshire to be near me. I'm more over towards (whispers furtively) Lancashire way.

Not Lancashire .....oh my!

Goodness me, no. But pretty near. Not cushioned from the Lancashire-ness by lots of lovely moors and stuff like you North Yorkshire types 😉

You sound really lovely and I would definitely be your friend if I lived nearby! Hope you find some soon

Ps. I made friends through cake club - persevere, different people different weeks x

Looks like there is a theme here, aga, walks, house stuff, (ours is a project currently obsessing about bathrooms and how dark is too dark for a blue in the dining room )Boden , joules. Does anyone do sea salt and covet fairfax and favor too.

Start your own meet ups OP. I'm Yorkshire too but East

nyorksyo Is it fnb "drawing room blue"? I love that but don't have an old enough house for it to look right. Yes to the sea salt. Oh dear!!

JK1773 I'm worried about how to phrase it to make it work......desperate aga bore seeks similar for cake discussions? most of the ones near me seem to be drinking clubs so you are right there might be a gap.....

We used to live in Beverley, love E. Yorkshire

Im looking at a selection of blues, my favourite so far is Mylands Mayfair Dark Blue. DH worried room will be too dark

Know you're all joking about Lancs, but in contrast to Yorks, it often tops the lists for friendliest county/areas/towns in the country. I think it is really tough in a village with limited time and options to invest in. Wondering if it's worth blurring the boundaries a little at work to be able to build closer friendships there. How distanced do you really have to be as the boss? Are there colleagues above who have friend potential? Surely people from work and their partners would come to dinner? If not, then maybe there are interests from work that could lead to other things. Sounds like you've already made good (if fruitless friend-wise) headway in that direction with the governing, but my mum was a teacher and joined a Youth Offending Panel where she has made good friends with numerous volunteers over the years. They tend to be from connected spheres like social work and be good at connecting with people. Hopefully that would be the case even in more insular places.