Always busy, but lonely - suggestions for building a social life

[positivemoves]

I am a longstanding regular and have namechanged again.
I am 49 and have a 7 year old DD . Her f was EA and , thankfully, disappeared after she was born. I had a lot of support here at the time . She was not planned .
I am NC with my birth family , and a regular stately homer .
I have four older DC , who were traumatised by him. ( He was not their f ). The two eldest have left home and are doing well, the younger two are almost finished with school and now do their own thing most of the time . I brought them all up alone.
We used to do everything together and still get together when everyone is able, but this now happens rarely .
I work full time in a very stressful job, 8 - 6 .
I have some lovely colleagues and good online friends , but absolutely no one locally to meet up with, or even chat to.
We live in a beautiful but deprived area where I moved because property was affordable . I commute to a city.
My youngest DD loves school and has lots of friends , but I am very much older than all her friends mothers . And I never take it fetch her , because of my hours; nursery does that.
This summer, she is unhappy being in nursery, yet her older siblings are rarely able or keen to have her for the whole day, so she really needs - and deserves - as much of me as possible whenever I am not working.
Over the years, I have worked hard on my own past and the impact this has had on my choices in life. I'm relatively aware and sorted and my self esteem is now better than it has ever been.
I had a relationship of sorts which turned out to be more of a FWB, but this recently ended because I wanted more, and he didn't .
I would love a caring partner , but this seems unlikely since I am rarely out anywhere to meet people , and in my age group, most people have moved past the young children stage and are free to do many things which I cannot .
I have tried internet dating, but it's tricky to organise time out, and I found the dating exhausting , and inevitably challenging due to my commitments as explained above.
Anyway, I know a relationship cannot be the answer to meeting all my needs and am extremely wary of bringing emotional disruption into DD's life ( through any experiences I might have ) and of introducing anyone to her. At the same time, she has only me and I am always with her, so getting to know someone would be difficult enough never mind progressing beyond that.
So, I wonder how I might build a hobby or social life which could include her- maybe even one which would also enable me to relate to people as me, and not just mum of DD.
I find that my life set up blows people away. Obviously, I don't explain details of my past , but even describing my day to day life , can lead people to see me as " amazing" and super capable . I guess this has truth . And I am proud of where I am and how I got here.
But most people are in couples, families or established groups.
I have always been an outsider - because of my upbringing and life circumstances, which I now understand .
I don't judge others , but have to work past the judgements of others often .
And where I live , I am an outsider as I am from far away and socially different . Sorry if that sounds judgemental. I don't mean it to. My accent is considered " posh" , and I live in a very socially deprived area , which I love. But we are seen as bohemian, exotic and a bit crazy - in a nice way. The nearest town does not have stuff that I could join or activities I would like. The city does, but that is an hour away and I commute every day and get home late.
I guess I need weekend things connected to a social circle .
Any ideas ? Anyone in a similar situation?

Just to add - I do join in with any school or local activities that I can, and I am friendly and chatty and know my neighbours. I go to musical or theatre things in the city sometimes and take DD out a lot. I did join the local meet up , but found young people meeting up for drinks or older men only Tate gatherings I went to.
The trouble is , I'm hardly in a situation where I can arrange anything, even if I had opportunities.
I'm thinking I will have to count my blessings and wait until DD grow up.

Didn't want to read and run. I don't really have much advice but what I would say is if you want to belong to a social circle you could perhaps start one yourself. If there's nothing you fancy doing in your area then perhaps start a group and see how it develops? What do you enjoy doing?

Thank you boddtm. I think knowing what I want may be part of the difficulty. I have adapted to being quite solitary , out of necessity over the years - at least as an adult , as Me.
I used to be a sociable person before having children . I used to go to festivals and music and art groups , and community activities .?But that was many years ago, and in an arty and hippyish sort of town with a different scene.
I've been working and bringing up children for 21 years and am not sure who I am any more . I like walking and quiet things and talking. I've never enjoyed going out drinking . I was invited out by a group of mums from school , but apart from being 20 years younger than me , everyone got very drunk before getting into town and then danced and enjoyed very loud , young pubs . They were all friendly and lovely, but it want really my scene . They still invite me, but it's girls nights away with a group pot of money for drinking and lots of dressing up and falling over.
I'm not sure what I could set up. I'll have a think.

I'm in a similar-ish position, though my DD is now a teen. I've mostly made friends with neighbours and other parents, though that starts changing as they become teens and don't necessarily want to hang out with whoever you chose for them when younger! I didn't get out much when DD was that age. Now she's a bit older we've joined a gym together, but mostly I now have freedom to get out a couple of evenings by myself. It's tough though, I feel alone sometimes but like you without the time or energy to go out to meet potential dates. This time with my DD though is possibly the happiest time of my life so I mostly don't mind not having a relationship.

I live DD dearly and enjoy doing things with her. But the older four were close in age and I've done so much and had so many adventures with them that I seem to be exhausted and feel guilty for wishing I could do more grown up things now.
Also , they were a little gang who played together and I never really had the experience of an only child , which is what DD now is , effectively .
I don't want her to have less than her older siblings did, but it's inevitably and unavoidably different . And I'm much older .
It's no good focusing on what I can't do . I have to find things we can do together , but it would be nice to be around grown ups too. Not just at work.