Getting ExP to leave

[joolspoon]

Hi all.,
My DP and I don't get on! I can't leave as I can't get a rental property.
We have 2DCs (2,4).
We are arguing in front of kids and haven't been intimate for 3 years.
I'm desperately unhappy. He drinks too much once in a while. He's an idiot!
How can I get him to leave, to give us space until we decide what's next?

Do you own the house jointly?

What's his opinion?

We are tenants in common. We aren't married.
He doesn't like arguing but he thinks it's just a rut. But I've finished the relationship. And I've told him so

Can you afford the rent on your own if he left or do you expect him to pay your bills indefinitely?

Oh no it would be short term anyway. But I would pay the bills.

You must have been intimate in three years if you have a 2 year old!

Please stop arguing in front of your children, as you'll do them long term emotional damage at this rate.

Have you agree who will move out?
As tenants in common, no one is more entitled to stay than the other.

Maybe ask your health visitor?

They would be interested in helping you for the wellbeing of your children if there is drinking problems, arguing and an unhealthy environment you are struggling in.

It might not be the case of him moving though it might have to be you.

It's really good that you are aware of the harm it could be doing and want to take at least a time out to make a better environment.

If it is proving difficult to get him to move for a while to benefit the kids and your relationship I can imagine it's impossible to just stop an argument.

Health Visitors are there to help mums too.

It'll be 3 years this September. I was pregnant with her when we last had sex.
I know we've tried so hard to not argue. We need to move on but I'm stuck. And he won't move out either.

I know the affects of arguing in front of children hence finishing the relationship and Needing to move on.
Yes I'll ask HV that's a good idea

I'm worried about moving out with the kids as DC is starting school soon. And I'm not able to get a contract as I don't have enough money and I can't get benefits due to universal credit

it isn't automatic that he will be the one who leaves, or that you will be the one who keeps the kids.

Who does the caring now?

I do most of the caring. It's not automatic but they are very young and always want me over him most days.

I didn't mean to sound harsh before. It's just that I see the lasting damage in later life of kids being in an environment like that.

Sandy- don't worry. I know I really know. My parents ruined my childhood by arguing.
We need to separate. Just don't know how...

Do you work?

Could your parents help?

What are you arguing over? Have you thought about relate etc?

I work part time.
We did relate last year
I'm not sure they can help. It's just my mum