Friends with ex is it really possible?

[Happyeverafter73]

Is it ever truly just a friendship even if there's no sex involved?

I am close friends with an ex. So is my boyfriend still close to his ex.

Thing is, I'm wondering whether this is getting in the way of me and my boyfriend becoming more intimate.

We've been together less than a year.

WWYD?

Definitely possible. I'm good friends with one of my (serious) exes and friendly with a couple of (not serious) others. I think it helps a lot if you were friends before you got together, if they aren't your most recent ex, and if you take a break (I'm talking a year or more) between ending the relationship and rekindling a friendship.

I'd tend to think, however, that if you think it might be a problem in your current relationship, it probably is.

Well the relationships haven't finished, have they? They've just changed and the person involved (for each of you) is still around.

Not something I would include in a recipe for a good grounding in a current relationship, no.

After about two years I am in touch and consider my exh to be my best friend. It has not harmed my relationship with DP AFAIK.

I'm friends with all my exes except two. Very good friends with exH. It doesn't have seemed to hold either of us back, really, and works rather well for both of us.

My friendships with my exes are rather more honest than with all but the very closest of my other friends. I suppose when you've been that intimate with someone, being frank about little stuff comes more easily.

I think it's possible, my ex is my best friend. Strangely the fact we dated makes us closer, we've had sex so there's nothing I feel embarrassed talking to him about. We have known each other a very long time and after we broke up we didn't see each other for a while to have that space there before we rekindled our friendship. Dp doesn't feel threatened in the slightest and it's never affected our relationship.

My father remained friendly with his first wife (split custody of their DCs) and my she and my DM became lifelong friends. I can be done.

It can be done I mean. Not I can be done!

It can be done, but not if either party has any unresolved feelings for the other.

It can be done, but not if either party has any unresolved feelings for the other.

This is the point though isn't it. Why would anyone want to remain friends with an ex really?

There are a handful of exceptions - for example first love at school and break up in early adult hood where you have a massive shared non-sexual history that would be a loss OR where you prioritize welfare of shared children so want to maintain an operational friendship.

but most of the time one person has a bad motive - ego-boosting (I know he/she still wants me); using the other person (he'll always be there to hold my hand, give me a hug); self justification ("I'm friends will all my exes, I'm such a tolerant persons") or a back up shag to be kept on the back burner ("just in case").

If you have been as close to someone as you can be (ie. a sexual relationship) why would you want to stay "friends"? You weren't "friends" to start with; you were "lovers" which is different.

From a new partner's perspective, who wants to be hanging around people who know what your lover is like in bed?

I think that's a bit of a jaded view Pitt, so you aren't friends with a partner as well as lovers? Every situation is different and two that I am friendly with is because they aren't bad people, we just weren't suitable as partners and I wish them the best. My best friend - we grew up together many years ago, not close but have a shared history going back to primary school. We mutually decided once the dust had settled and we had time apart not to throw that away.