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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

He don't do anything!

23 replies

user1499288566 · 31/07/2017 09:20

Does anyone else have their guy work away and only home weekends? When mine comes home it's his only time with me and lil one yet he don't do much at all , I still do everything even tho I'm shattered and never get break , he lays in which is fine cuz I carnt I'm just use to getting up now, but as soon as he gets on sofa he goes sleep this could happen once or twice a day at least, i just don't think it's good knowing it's his only time with us , I get you switch off ect but I'm never allowed too, and you would think he would think no this is only time I get don't go sleep don't get cosy ect, then on eve I'm ready for bed about 8 9 ish he int tired, he often tries to be playful or come onto me and I don't want to no halve the time cuz I'm shattered I never get a break like at all , and if i fight it cuz I want to stay up or want time for us I'm then crap the next day for it and he lays in ! Then wonders why I'm cranky

OP posts:

Original poster

user1499288566 · 31/07/2017 18:17

Any one else?

OP posts:

UrethaFranklin · 31/07/2017 18:56

Why are you with him? After reading this thread and your other one, he doesn't seem to have much going for him.

Rearding the sleeping maybe you just have two different body clocks. I'm more of a night owl and tend to stay up late at night, I couldn't be with someone who wanted to be in bed for 8/9pm!

What are you aactually getting out of the relationship? You hardly ever see him and when you do, one of you is asleep! Sounds like you would be better off single.

thefutureisfemale · 31/07/2017 18:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SisterhoodisPowerful · 31/07/2017 19:02

thefutureisfemale what a deeply shitty post. Nasty and cruel and snobbish.

Op - relationships are meant to make you happy. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this? With a man who doesn't respect you? Too tired to enjoy life? You deserve better than this.

Youthinrevolt · 31/07/2017 19:09

perhaps she should have said she 'carnt' read it?

Lovelilies · 31/07/2017 19:10

Thefuture yes, the post is difficult to read, however I don't think the OP is here to have her spelling and grammar criticised. So give it a rest eh?

OP, that sounds rubbish. Have you spoken to DP about how you feel? He may have no idea what a dick he's being. What do you want from him? You may need to spell it out, and if he doesn't pull his socks up, get shot of him.

Original poster

user1499288566 · 31/07/2017 19:22

Sorry if my post was not easy to read .wasn't too fussed over making sure every word and bit of grammar were correct, was just writing as it came to me , just wanted to get it posted and get some advise, thanks for feedback though on things

OP posts:

AuntyElle · 31/07/2017 20:43

(Ignore 'thefutureisfemale'. I've seen nasty posts from them before.)

Have you explained how to him how your life is - from your point of view, not just what he sees of it? And told him that you want to arrange things so that you get a break? There's at least three threads like this on here today, so there's advice on those too.

Allabitmuchisntit · 31/07/2017 20:49

thefutureisfemale

Feel better about yourself now do you?

Tofutti · 31/07/2017 20:52

I'm sorry I can't read your post at all. Can you write it coherently?

I read it and understood it the first time. That was really unnecessary.

OP, are you living together? Does he take on his share of housework and bills?

Do you think you can always live with him like this? He's unlikely to change.

Original poster

user1499288566 · 31/07/2017 21:05

I don't live with him , it's my place. He works away all week and comes back weekends.he gives me some money , but it's down to me after that .iv told him I need more but he thinks he gives enough. He has never ran his own place so he don't get it

OP posts:

MaisieDotes · 31/07/2017 21:13

How many DC have you got and what ages are they?

Where does he live then?

Sorry for all the questions!

Original poster

user1499288566 · 31/07/2017 21:42

He works away all week, he still lives with his dad on paper , as in where his mail goes , where some of his stuff still is

OP posts:

Original poster

user1499288566 · 31/07/2017 21:43

Just got little girl, she is 4

OP posts:

OCSockOrphanage · 31/07/2017 21:50

He's a passenger and will jump as soon as he sees another option. Make him walk the gangplank, quick as he likes, this week would be good for you.

OCSockOrphanage · 31/07/2017 21:53

Give your daughter a good start and a chance to do avoid mistakes. A little tough love now will set her on a better path forever.

theabysswithin · 31/07/2017 22:06

I had one like this and I left him. Life is too short.

MaisieDotes · 31/07/2017 22:33

It doesn't seem like you're a family. He has one foot in and one foot out. I know he's working away but he could at least base himself with you properly, post etc. And pay rent!

Agree with the abyss Life is^ too short. I was a single parent for 10 years and it was hard but I could get on with my life!

Original poster

user1499288566 · 31/07/2017 22:37

He has his own halve of the house with his dad, it's random, but kind of like his own place .I ended up where I am now due to his lies and behaviour. I tried it over there when my daughter was born around 7 times, each time I left .got to the point where I needed a stable place, so that's what I did.but I let him back, he got this new job away, and iv never had that full commitment and family home.he won't leave his place , wants me to go there, but in my heart I don't want that.i feel we should both get to decide our future. But in mean time he puts money in and I run everything n sort everything, just feel mugged off and let down

OP posts:

MaisieDotes · 31/07/2017 22:48

I don't blame you. I would want more, to be honest.

GinaFordCortina · 31/07/2017 22:52

I'm sorry I can't read your post at all. Can you write it coherently?

I read it fine first the first time, do you normally struggle thefuture? Online forums might not be the best place for you.

Op he sounds like a twat. Sorry.

Mrsknackered · 31/07/2017 23:55

Pretty ironic when you're username is 'thefutureisfemale' yet you're tearing other females down for grammar.

OP he's a waste of space. You can do better.

Maelstrop · 01/08/2017 00:38

Is he the father of your dd? What are you getting out of the relationship? It sounds like you'd be in the same position without him. Have you considered this?

thefutureisfemale Oh do fo, dear, that was unnecessarily bitchy and patronising.

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