I wish I had a friend.

[Heihei]

This is very self pitying so I apologise. Do many people here have, for want of a better expression, a best friend? I do have 2 good friends but unfortunately they are at opposite ends of the country from me these days. My other closest friendship has drifted and she is now really close to someone else (which is great but I miss our friendship).

I'm shy and awkward. I have depression and anxiety and I largely feel unlikeable. I keep dreaming I will meet a friend, someone I could just pop round and have a brew with, someone who i could chat on the phone to.

I'm so lucky in many ways - I have a lovely DH and DS, but I just long for real friendship. I know it's pathetic but, my goodness, I'm so lonely.

How old is DS? Could you got to any toddler groups or if he is older sign him up for a hobby? I have my friends, and a best friend but sometimes it feels like my priorities are different as I'm the only one with children, and I can't talk mum stuff with them or ask questions in relation to kids as they have no experience.... so meeting people in a friendly environment i.e. Sports club/baby group will connect you with people on the same on the same page, I have met some amazing mum friends and they understand if I'm too busy or too tired to meet up as they often feel the same. The anxiety may not be as bad as it potentially could be by meeting people this way as you have your DS as a comfort blanket it's different to approaching a stranger in the street

Hi OP, it's difficult to comment without knowing more about your life. I have many friends though my best friend is my partner. I have met my friends through work and hobbies. Do you work and do you have hobbies? Why do you feel unlikeable? We all have a bit of social anxiety probably. I'm probably shy and awkward with people I don't know. I moved an hour away from my home town to live with my partner and it probably took me 2-3 years to get what I would call decent friends.

I struggle to find anything in common with the ladies on the school run, and my friends are London way...whereas I am out in the sticks in a village that is a cross between Little Britain and the League of Gentleman. I have nothing in common with the locals who are sometimes downright rude and ignorant, and while my DH drags his mates partners around...I have nothing much in common with them either! I have found meetup useful however - I don't go to the social meetings as I feel a bit shy, but I have enjoyed a few of the meetings centred around a hobby or interest...I surprised myself how much I liked them. I also meet people I like taking my dogs out...the dogs have motivated my exercise, which boosts mood, and they are very social creatures so drag me to meet all sorts of people on our adventures. Buy a dog!

I wish I had friends too.

There are people I know from different things, work included, but no actual friends.

I've signed up for a sponsored walk and I have no one to ask for sponsorship money.....

You're not alone, this same thread comes up from time to time!
There was even an fb group created for us friendless MN types but no one was brave enough to post
Idk what the solution is let me know if you solve it

I'm the same as you except I have no real close friends.

Felt quite used by friends most my life.

I have young kids too so can't really go out and socialise so easily.

Maybe one day.

Thank you for all your replies .
In all honesty I'm not sure why I don't have a close friend! I do work, and I have some nice acquaintances, but it doesn't really get passed that level because they already have established friends and don't see me in that sense I think.

DH is amazing and he is by far the best friend I've ever had, but if I can be a bit sexist for a minute, I'd like a female friend really! Ds is 3 and we are looking in to him starting activities after nursery but most sports etc start at 4. I work full time so I don't often get to go to groups with him anymore. When he was a baby I had rotten PND but I did make a few mum friends. They have all gone on to have number 2 (we can't have another) and they all have a bit more in the bank than we do, so they work either p/t or are still on mat leave together. I just got phased out - which I understand.

I'd like to do hobbies but I'm short of money at the moment and my confidence fails me, I feel certain I'll embarrass myself if I try something new.

I hope this doesn't sound horrible, but it is utterly heartwarming to hear that other people feel the same way, I thought it was just stupid old me! How do people overcome their self doubts to try new things?

I can't really add anything, other than I understand how you feel. My best friend moved 200 miles away 10 years ago. I have struggled ever since to find a proper friend. I have a little boy who is 3 and I struggled to get myself to baby groups as I had PND and struggle with anxiety in social situations, so have never really had a chance to meet mums with kids the same age.

Nothing to add except that I can totally relate. I'm just about to have a baby and I'm hoping i can get myself out there a bit. I'm just so scared of rejection that I really struggle doing the things that make a friendship develop like asking someone if they want to get coffee/meetup etc

I hear you OP. I don't have many friends. The ones I do have aren't close friends. I don't even have a DP or siblings. I do things by myself but it's not the same without someone to share things with, I would love to gossip with someone over a cuppa - and I have loads of gossip to share!

Honestly?

I would be friends with all of you!

Have you tried MN Local?

I'm exactly the same . So socially awkward I think people think I'm stuck up or think I'm better than them . I have friends who I text but not really any friends I socialise regularly with .

Another similar story here. We moved from London to a village in Feb and I haven't made friends with anyone yet. I had one child and mummy over for tea after school but that's not gone any further. Everyone here has their established friendships and they don't seem very open to including me. Even the PTA at school seem to be a closed shop, despite my offers to help at a few events. I think I'm like a few pp - I'm outwardly confident and self assured so probably appear to not need friendship.

Pp mentioned Mumsnet local - I've looked and it's pretty much got tumbleweeds rolling on through the section for my area

So, yeah. I get it.

I haven't got a close friend either. Plenty of mums I say hi too but that's about it. No one I chat to really. I don't have a DP either so can go a while without any adult conversation. It can be hard.

I don't either. I have people I text but no one who wants me as a friend, to meet up with me for coffee and a nice chat. I am also good at attracting people who use me to make themselves feel better (I think I mean narcissists) and then reject me. I feel very isolated, and I don't work at the moment. One of my oldest friends recently just dropped me, I don't know why. I have now been reflecting on my life and realise I have always really struggled with friendships, and I feel like now I will perhaps never have friends.

So I'm trying to understand that there's all of you people writhing these threads that you are all friendless.
Hmmmm
Can't you all just get together and all be friends. Simple solution.
By the way am friendless myself. Sometime you just need someone to talk to.