Feeling down... please give me some hope.

[rosareine]

I left a controlling relationship about 6 months ago after posting on here.

I'm rebuilding my life, preparing to start work etc.

I have four children and I'm in my late 20s.

I don't think I'm ready yet (and I'm doing the freedom program in September) but I'm worried I'm not going to meet anyone 😕it really gets me down the thought of spending years and years single. Sometimes on my worst days it makes me want to run back to my ex (I won't though).

Does anyone have any stories of meeting someone as a single mother?

Of course you will meet someone! Don't just settle for any relationship though. I was in your position 12 years ago (older than you at the time), I'd left a crap marriage and had two small children. After dating a couple more idiots I realised I was in danger of repeating old patterns, so I did a lot of work on myself - therapy, etc. I then met someone great and not my usual type and went out of my way to do things differently, and it worked. We are still together and happy.

Try and look on this time as your time.
A time to rediscover yourself, learn about yourself and find strategies to help you deal with and understand abusive relationships, how they operate, how you get sucked in, how to recognise the warning signs which is what the Freedom Programme will teach you.
When all you've known is a relationship like the one you were in, its very easy for 'relationships', to become the benchmark for being happy. But it really isn't true. The correct happiness benchmark is first of all, finding out who you are, loving yourself warts and all and deciding that you are much too good for the emotional low life's out there.
Then, after some time re-booting your whole philosophy of life you become confident, more assertive, with an almost perfect twat radar because now, you can read the runes.
Once you've arrived at this point of understanding, then and only then are you ready to meet new people and ready emotionally, to find someone who is worthy of you.
You will find that special someone but not if you rush straight back into finding a relationship, any relationship to fill an empty void within yourself.

He left me, the dd's were 6 & 7. I got evicted, had to give up my job. Spent 6 months on a friends floor.
Now in my lovely house I bought with oh, girls are very happy living their lives.
It was hard and there were many many shit times. But the other side is better. 6 months in is very early so don't be hard on yourself.
Spending years and years being single is better than spending that time in a shit relationship.
You have plenty of time ahead of you, I know it doesn't feel like that now. But you have a whole new life ahead of you, don't rush it. x