Searching women's names?

[Dolphins23]

What would you all think?

Been going out with my boyfriend for nearly a year, When we argue he searches women's names on Facebook? Looks at their photos but doesn't add them. And also watches porn. I've found all this out by sneaking on his phone when he's asleep. I'm so insecure. And after having 2 kids, been in an abusive and emotional abuse marriage for 8 years. And then come into this relationship. I keep thinking why us he picked me? But then he wants to make up all the time when we argue. What would you do? Thanks.

Get turned off.

Your relationship is not good if you are sneaking on his phone when he is asleep is it? I'd be binning anyone that did that. Watching porn isn't unusual, neither is searching people on FB. You don't trust him clearly and after less than a year that's not good. It doesn't sound like you are ready for a healthy relationship to be honest. Why don't you focus on yourself and recover from your previous marriage before you embark on another relationship

He is searching for another soft touch for when you see the light. .
I bet the making up involves sex does it??
He is a twat.
You deserve so much more. .

Sounds like you have the problem not him. I'm in a perfectly happy relationship, love my DW, and sometimes go on fb stalking sprees and, shock horror, sometimes watch some porn.

He hasn't added these women, he's not talking to them, and it sounds to me like he's behaving normally. You need to get help for your insecurity or you will drive him, and the next lad, and the lad after that, away.

I wouldn't touch a man who watched porn with a sterilised barge pole.

The FB sounds innocent to me, OP.

You have to decide what you cam accept and what you cannot.

Watching porn doesn't mean anything or that someone is likely to cheat or that they want to look elsewhere, normal use is only a problem if one person is totally against it and that's an incompatibility issue, it doesn't mean that either person is wrong.

Looking up women on facebook, well it's common enough to go on a stalking spree as another poster put it, are you sure it's just when you fight? Personally I wouldn't like it at all but I think in many cases it is harmless

Sounds like two issues, your insecurity which could mean you are not even ready for another LTR but also no trust, all that in a year, it's not looking good at all.

I'd end it too re the porn, we are not all cool about our partners using it and that would turn me off, never mind his looking up other women, fuck that. I'd move on and be by myself, until you can learn to love you, nobody else will.

"Watching porn doesn't mean anything"

Well, apart from the fact that he thinks it's OK for women to be objectified and potentially abused.......

I've definitely got insecurities I know that. And I can't trust until it gets proven to me in time. But everytime I go on his phone there's something always there. He works 4 nights 6pm -6am so for them 4 days I don't see him or speak to him much and on the first day off he sleeps all afternoon. Then he comes mine to sleep for 2 nights and then goes home for the other 2 nights he's off to get some alone time. I know that he doesn't go out anywhere as he just sits on xbox all the time. But basically we argue for a night or so every time he's at work about anything really, probably me being sensitive and he says something that I think is wrong or he goes funny with me when he's feelin depressed at work. And that's when I find the stuff dated from. The latest I've found is, I've been blocked on his instagram but he apparently doesn't have it anymore but when I go on my old instagram his name shows up and uses it but it's set as private so I can't see it. and ive noticed he deletes apps like snap chat, instagram etc whenever he is coming to mine. But has them back on when he's away from me? Before he didn't want me to be shown on his Facebook, but after constant moans at him, he's finally put us on a relationship on it not so long ago. But he won't put any pics of us up on anything So I've bombarded pics tagging him lol. And yes making up does involve sex, we have it quite a lot anyway. My heads going crazy :(

OP, the man is leading you a merry dance whilst you run behind on a back foot, tagging him excessively in pics; no offence but honestly, just move on, he's not worth all this angst.

Looks like he leads a very active online life with other women in the picture.

Time to end it.

You clearly don't trust him at all. Why are you with him? It sounds like you're completely stifling him. Why are you always checking his phone? I wouldn't tolerate that at all. It's his private space. And some people don't like advertising their private lives all over Facebook. My relationship is not advertised online anywhere because it's nobody else's business. The whole relationship sounds rubbish tbh

Checking his phone? Nope. You're wrong for him. Let him go.

It sounds like hard work.

Ignore all the "cool gf" responses op, relationships should be completely honest and open and him deleting apps before he meets up with you means he's hiding things. That's a red flag in itself. He dosnt sound like a good one tbh, you should move on and work on your own self esteem

If you stay with a guy who watches porn you will be back here after your first baby together telling us how shocked you are that he's seeing escorts. Get the pervert away from your children.

LOL at the leap from watching porn to fucking escorts.

Ditch him.

I was ready to defend him for watching porn, and for the Facebook thing, but your update changed my mind a bit.

There's only one reason he deletes apps on his way to your house and reinstalls them later; he knows you snoop and there's stuff he doesn't want you to see.

Normally this would suggest he's talking to other women, or saying negative things about you to his friends. But, given your snooping and constant tagging, this could be his way of protecting his privacy.

Either way you're not right for each other.

Open and honest?? Bit hypocritical that isnt it? She's checking his phone without his knowledge.

The first post, I wouldn't necessarily think he's doing anything wrong. Most men watch porn - as do women. Personally I don't have a problem with it, id rather that than physical cheating.

Searching for women on Facebook again isn't the worst - adding them and talking to them would be.

I understand you checking his phone too, when you've been in previous relationships and had your trust broken, you just expect it to happen again. You are actually looking for his betrayal and probably won't believe he isn't doing anything because betrayal is all you know. I've been there and sort of still am.

However - your post yesterday at 16.07 I think it was would bother me. That is secrecy and I wouldn't like it. Saying his isn't on social media when he clearly is would be a problem to me. Not the fact that he has it - but the lying about it.

There is ways you could go about it - set up a new profile and follow him to see what's on it.

But it still wouldn't solve the problem to be honest.

I am very insecure but my boyfriend doesn't hide his social media from me. He shouldn't have too because he should have nothing to hide anyway.

So yeah, first part of the message I think you are possibly being too insecure but the second part I think he's hiding something. Sorry op x

OP gather your self respect, work on your insecurities on your own. It sounds like you're not ready to be in a mature relationship right now and neither is he. You would be surprised at what you can achieve once you've had time to work on yourself