Ok. I had an emotionally unhappy childhood for many reasons, but one of them was: never good enough; hypercritical mother; always told that no one would ever want, love or marry me... I ended up being a complete wreck. I believed I'd never be loved and wasn't worthy of it and so didn't expect love or respect from men. It wasn't pretty.
I married a man who didn't love me (I didn't love him either, to be fair) and we separated after a 12 year loveless and sexless relationship 5 years ago.
After that, I did some online dating. My experience of men on online dating was that I was told I'm not pretty enough; that I'm too fat; that I'm too old (by someone who was older than me) and I can honestly say that I read threads and posts on here where women talked about it being confidence that counts and scoffed at them - if anything I found that men I was confident around sought to punish me for my unwarranted confidence/lack of apology for my physical appearance. All these naive women talking about not being a size 10 and finding men who loved them and they believe it. What utter, deluded nonsense...
So I decided that I was going to give up on men completely. It took a while, but then I did just switch off to it. That was a couple of years ago.
So now, I'm at my heaviest (12 stone, size 14/16), I have a bit of a tummy (which I've never had before) and I had a CS so I now have the dreaded overhang 
. I look a bit like a fertility idol; all belly, bum, boobs and hips 
but it didn't matter. It just served as a reminder that no one wanted me anyway and I didn't want them.
So, my body confidence was really low. My dating was zero.
And then, 3 or 4 months ago, I met a man on a night out at the pub and we became instantly inseperable. He is 9 years younger than me. And it's amazing. We've spent the last 3 or 4 months just getting to know each other.
We didn't even kiss until last weekend but it's amazing. He clearly fancies me, ahem. He tells me that, to him, I'm the most beautiful woman. He said he is happy to go at my pace for everything. I wouldn't say the body confidence issue is sorted, but it's definitely less of a problem for me than it was before. He wouldn't dream of asking for photos. He treats me with the utmost respect and, for the first time in my life, I feel loved.
My advice would be to not give these men even a sniff of a second chance. If someone gives you any reason to doubt them when they're supposed to be trying to impress you, they are not worthy of you.
I am the most cynical and unforgiving woman I know when it comes to men's intentions and this man has genuinely blown my mind. If I can find it, you can too.
Don't give any man who shows you that he disrespects women generally the chance to disrespect you personally.
As for this date, I'd text him and tell him you're cancelling the date because of the message he sent last night. If he questions it, you can either ignore him or tell him that if he is prepared to show you such disrespect before he's even met you, then you have no interest in him. It's very empowering.