Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ex's new stepmum wants my dd to call her mum!!

19 replies

Ragingbeeatch · 29/07/2017 11:29

So my exh and I split about 4 years ago and recently got remarried. We've all always got on, I got them a card and a pressie for their wedding etc. All on good terms. But then he drops dd (7) off today and she tells me that new step mum makes her call her mum and that it feels weird!!! Am I wrong to be absolutely livid??

OP posts:
aramintafatbottom · 29/07/2017 11:32

Yanbu. I'm usually the first to defend step mum's but it is weird

I am one and I wouldn't want ss to call me mum because he has one and it's not me!

I can understand when it's a v small child who's actual mum is not on the scene and they choose to call step mum, mum, because for all intents and purposes they are but your situation does not sound like that.

Take it up with your ex definitely as your child isn't happy with it either.

Nainer123 · 29/07/2017 11:36

I'd be furious. I assume you haven't had that kind of conversation with your ex or his new wife? Which in that case I'd be beyond livid that they feel it is appropriate without prior discussion and agreement.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 29/07/2017 11:37

I would be talking to your ex about this matter because it is confusing for your DD.

Is he however a mouse when it comes to his wife?.

flumpybear · 29/07/2017 11:37

Phone them, tell them both this is inappropriate and DD will be calling her by her name
Don't worry you're not unreasonable

Notreallyarsed · 29/07/2017 11:39

I'm a mum and a SM and I'd lose my shit if DS1s SM asked him to call her mum! No chance. DS1 calls DP (his stepdad) by his name too. DS1s SM and I have spoken about this many times and both of us agree that I'm his mum, she's his stepmum. Her kids have a SM too, and she feels the same with them.

hasitcometothis33 · 29/07/2017 11:43

So your ex's father has recently remarried, and his new step-mum wants your daughter to call her mum.

Jeremy Kyle beckons

Original poster
Ragingbeeatch · 29/07/2017 11:55

I'm fuming. It's fucking bizarre, right? I've never had any (well not many) issues with them but this has really got me shaking with rage! Actually they did fuck me off a bit last week as I'm taking dd to Disneyland and was told she couldn't talk about it in their house so as not to upset her SB - who went to Disneyland himself last year and he's nearly 12 ffs!! Starting to panic that she's going to go all weird and want dd FT - I spent 9 months growing dd and 48 horrific hours pushing her out of me, I AM HER MUM!!! Arghhhhh, fucking seething

OP posts:
Original poster
Ragingbeeatch · 29/07/2017 11:56

Lol hasit, look out for me on jezza!!! Grin

OP posts:
MikeUniformMike · 29/07/2017 11:59

Ex's DW is BU. Your daughter has one Mum. You.
I suggest your daughter calls her Nan.

qazxc · 29/07/2017 12:08

That's wrong. Firstly she has a mum, you. And secondly your dd os being forced to do it and uncomfortable with it.
I'd be having a word with the dad.

Gingerandgivingzerofucks · 29/07/2017 12:12

Hold off until you're calmer, OP. Then a conversation with her dad, maybe on pick up time? Just to say, in front of your dd, the she will not be calling her step mum mummy. She cannot and never will be her dd.

ijustwannadance · 29/07/2017 12:16

You need to speak to your ex and tell him neither you or your DD are happy about her calling SM mum and will be using her first name from now on.

MrsMamaG2016 · 29/07/2017 12:36

I'm a stepmom and I would never ever let my stepchild call me anything other than by my first name she could choose if she called me stepmom.. but the weird thing was her mum used to say things like "I'd love for her to look on the situation as she has one big family and 2 moms and 2 dads" I found that weird and was insistent to my husband that was never going to be the case as I have my own child with my husband and would confuse both children ... so I understand where you are coming from

mustresistwine · 29/07/2017 12:47

Yanbu Shock

but (voice of experience) let the anger wear off a bit before you address the issue AND remember that sometimes a 7 years olds account of a situation is not 100% accurate...

Original poster
Ragingbeeatch · 29/07/2017 13:23

I've calmed down and spoken to him. He was actually very reasonable and agreed she would only call her by her first name from now on. Thank fook!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Ragingbeeatch · 29/07/2017 13:24

Now I can concentrate on getting me and my hyper daughter to Disneyland tomorrow! Grin

OP posts:
ijustwannadance · 29/07/2017 15:40

Have a great holiday!

Getoutofthatgarden · 29/07/2017 16:12

YANBU. I would be furious at this and would be having a word with step-mum.

SandyY2K · 29/07/2017 17:07

Now I can concentrate on getting me and my hyper daughter to Disneyland tomorrow!

I hope you have a great time.

I would be livid too. It sounds like she's showing her true colours now that she's married him.

I hope she does not turn into the step mother from hell. Asking your DD not to mention Disney at the age of 7 is ridiculous.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread