I'm leaving, where do I start?

[Cheeseychipsngravy]

DP and I are splitting up after 7 years. I have 3 children from a previous relationship who he's treated as his own. I have no idea where to start!

DC aren't going to know anything until everything's sorted, so we'll be living together for a while.

Am I right in thinking that I can start claiming tax credits in my sole name even tho were still under the same roof? I work part time.

Also, housing. We rent currently, I'll be looking into getting somewhere myself. Currently in my overdraft tho, is tht going to affect my chance? Getting a month's rent and deposit is going to be a challenge.

On that note as well, since we've been together DP has started saving, he now had a substantial amount of money in the bank where I'm in my overdraft. I've been scrimping every month to make ends meet. Now I'm not after his money at all, but would it be appropriate to ask him if he could help out with the deposit? I'm walking away with far less than I went in with having got rid of most my "stuff" for us to get new, which have been paid for by him. Even my car went :(

I feel rather stuck and don't know where to begin!

You're apparently not married. Do you have a cohabitation agreement?

No, not married and nothing formal in place

When I split with exh and dc weren't his I told him to leave, changed the tenancy to just me and didn't ask him for anything. . Claimed benefits and then went self employed. .

Isn't it easier for him to leave?

You can't claim tax credits until you are living apart. I enquired about this when ex and I still lived together for a few months after separation.

Why are you overdrawn when he is saving? Are you paying more than him towards the household? If so then yes it would be fair to ask him for help but otherwise, its really your problem to find the money.

Could you not keep on the current property and ask him to find somewhere else>?

I agree with Needsomeflapjacks He should leave, he is in a better position to find somewhere else to live and you have DC's to think about, if he is decent there's no reason he shouldn't! Also you should be able to claim benefits, you are no longer in a relationship and are a lone parent, But do check on the hmrc website to be sure. Also check what other benefits you will be entitled to, If you work part time you will be entitled to help with childcare costs (if you need it that is) you also get a deduction on council tax if you're a single parent.

I think I am going to have to ask him to leave, I just feel guilty doing so when it was my decision to split in the first place. He had previously said (one one of the many other occasions we've almost split) that he'd leave. It would male a lot more sense for him to go though.

I'm not sure how things became so imbalanced financially, I earn a lot less than him, but think proportionately I pay out far more.

Will check with hmrc, have done the entitled to thing already and know I'll be more comfortable, it's just the immediate housing situation that worries me.

I think asking him to go is a better idea and it saves uprooting the DC. Don't feel guilty, he has played his part in the relationship breakdown so its not because you've just decided you don't love him anymore.
When my ex and I split it was similar. He earner more than me but I definitely paid out more, this was one of the (many) reasons we split. Initially he refused to move out but then did. I felt horrendous guilt (and still do sometimes) about splitting up the family as he was clear he didn't want it. However, he's never taken responsibility for his behaviour which lead to the split!!

I feel so confused now. He's said he definitely doesn't want things to end and wants to give it a month and see how we both feel. If at the end of the month it's still not working then we'll amicably call it a day.

I'm 100% sure it's over for me. I don't know whether to agree to the month knowing full well my decision will be the same or just put my foot down.